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Marriage
39 segments in 27 recordings · 2017 to 2022 · 0 verified · 29 checked positions · relationships/marriage · Feed
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Click a year to jump to itLatest answer · 10 Dec 2022
10 Dec 2022video
LatestWhat is the story of the woman who tricked Abu Hanifa into a marriage proposal?
Abu Hanifa died in 150 AH and is buried in Baghdad. In a story of uncertain accuracy, a woman tricked him into a marriage with a different bride to get him back for the clever reference he once gave a poor suitor.
machine11 min 51 s56:24on YouTube
Earlier answers · 38 · newest first
2021 · 8
13 Apr 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth
Is child marriage legal in Western countries?
No: Mufti Abu Layth says Western ages of consent cluster around sixteen and do not allow an adult with a child, and imams should condemn child marriage with one voice.
machine3 min 57 s2:01:53on YouTube
13 Apr 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth
LatestAre many people's frustrations really about unmet sexual needs?
Mufti Abu Layth says much bitterness comes from unmet sexual needs, that Islam itself does not see sex negatively, and that Freud should be judged on his ideas, not his character.
machine9 min 11 s2:43:47on YouTube
6 Apr 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth
LatestDid the Prophet say a wife should prostrate to her husband?
The report is not authentic: it was probably put into circulation to support the family hierarchy of a patriarchal society. The report urging violent jealousy over female relatives is likewise fabricated.
machine4 min 55 s51:13on YouTube
6 Apr 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth
Are disgusting sexual fetishes between spouses haram?
Such fetishes are not haram, however disgusting most people find them: contact with impurity is unclean but not forbidden, and what a consenting couple do in private is their own business. Nobody is obliged to do them.
machine8 min 30 s1:04:21on YouTube
26 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth
Dawah Man on intimacy positions, citing Ibn al-Qayyim, played and mocked
Mufti Abu Layth plays and mocks a preacher's advice, attributed to Ibn al-Qayyim, against the woman-on-top position as encouraging femininity in men.
machine6 min 33 s2:59:20on YouTube
19 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth
What can I do if I can't afford to marry but want to avoid zina?
Mufti Abu Layth has no easy answer: religion is failing people here because scholars and cultures will not discuss options, and marriage has become too costly for the young.
machine7 min 31 s1:17:35on YouTube
19 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth
Reaction to a niqabi's clip using driving as a metaphor for sex
A clip of a woman in niqab using a driving metaphor for intimacy, in which Mufti Abu Layth sees nothing wrong.
machine2 min 04 s3:07:46on YouTube
5 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth
Is anal intercourse with my wife haram?
Mufti Abu Layth says no sahih hadith makes anal intercourse with one's wife haram, and that preachers should stop guilt-tripping people over private matters.
machine7 min 28 s2:23:10on YouTube
2020 · 8
27 Oct 2020Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth
Mufti Abu Layth mocks a critic's clip on intimacy and slit bedsheets
Mufti Abu Layth ridicules a critic's story that intimacy was once seen as so foul that couples used slit bedsheets.
machine4 min 39 s3:11:27on YouTube
22 Sep 2020Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth
Can a Muslim woman marry a non-Muslim man?
Mufti Abu Layth holds that such a nikah would be valid, though not meeting every condition, but advises couples to think hard because faith often becomes a conflict once children arrive.
machine9 min 39 s1:05:38on YouTube
24 Aug 2020Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth
Is a secret nikah allowed?
A secret nikah that deceives the woman is exploitation he condemns, but a low-commitment marriage both adults openly agree to is, he says, permissible.
machine3 min 51 s2:23:11on YouTube
14 Jul 2020live stream
How do some imams use religion to exploit young women?
Imams who use religion to sell girls a fantasy of a pious relationship are despicable; girls should wake up from such fantasies and crimes should be reported.
machine6 min 20 s2:20:55on YouTube
26 Jun 2020MindTrap with Mufti Abu Layth
LatestDoes the Quran allow a husband to hit his wife?
The guest reads 4:34 as telling a persistently flirting wife to leave rather than as permission to beat, and says four words in the verse were mistranslated to create male authority. Mufti Abu Layth says the statement that men provide is descriptive, not prescriptive.
machine7 min 49 s2:04:43on YouTube
19 Apr 2020MindTrap with Mufti Abu Layth
Is it haram for a husband to drink his wife's breast milk?
The guest says classical jurists allowed a husband to drink his wife's milk, and Mufti Abu Layth says the Maliki school considers it pure and not haram, unlike a stricter Hanafi view.
machine9 min 08 s55:16on YouTube
19 Apr 2020MindTrap with Mufti Abu Layth
Is oral sex between spouses haram because the private parts are impure?
The guest says the arguments against oral sex within marriage, from the right-hand prohibition and from impurity, do not hold, since one's own body is not impure; Mufti Abu Layth says he agrees.
machine2 min 32 s2:21:08on YouTube
8 Mar 2020From the Mind of a Mufti
Did the Prophet marry his cousin?
Mufti Abu Layth says the Prophet's marriage to Zaynab bint Jahsh, a relative only through her mother, is unlike families where everyone marries cousins; he also says marriage without a wali is valid.
machine3 min 37 s2:16on YouTube
2019 · 7
12 Dec 2019On Love, Romance, and Relationships
Is it haram to kiss my wife in public?
A greeting kiss on the cheek or forehead in public, as is common in the Gulf and seen in the Haram, is no problem because it is affectionate rather than sensual. A passionate kiss in public would be a problem.
machine5 min 04 s0:00on YouTube
18 Sep 2019From the Mind of a Mufti
Why is celibacy praised despite a hadith against it while music is condemned without one?
A sahih hadith condemns the vow never to marry, yet unmarried scholars are praised in books like Abu Ghudda's, because celibacy fits the picture of religion as self-denial; music, which fits the opposite picture, is condemned although no clear sahih hadith names it. The default law remains that everything is permissible unless proven otherwise.
machine6 min 30 s1:00:02on YouTube
1 Aug 2019On Current Events
Why is it harmful when religious influencers present a fake perfect life?
Mufti Abu Layth says their private lives were their own business, and that the harm lay in preaching standards they could not live by and selling an unattainable ideal of marriage in God's name.
machine6 min 19 s4:26on YouTube
25 Jul 2019Ponderings on the Holy Quran
Is forcing your wife to have sex a sin in Islam?
Yes: Mufti Abu Layth says coercive sex with one's wife is haram, and that Muslims who deny this create the problem. He cites Imam Malik's saying that what set right the first of this umma will set right its last, meaning the independence to challenge inherited readings shaped by medieval patriarchy.
machine3 min 51 s32:36on YouTube
18 Jul 2019From the Mind of a Mufti
What is al-Suyuti's book about sex?
Al-Suyuti wrote about sex, including a section on names for the penis, and endorsed a saying that the two greatest worldly pleasures are horse riding and sex. Mufti Abu Layth agrees with al-Ghazali that orgasm is the closest worldly pleasure to those of paradise.
machine2 min 32 s0:00on YouTube
10 May 2019video
Is a marriage between a Muslim and a non-Muslim valid?
Yes, it would be valid, but it is discouraged: Islam strongly encourages marrying within the faith so children are not raised amid conflict. Validity is not the same as being a good choice.
machine6 min 33 s40:48on YouTube
28 Feb 2019On Love, Romance, and Relationships
Why is it so hard for Muslims to find a partner?
Mufti Abu Layth says there is a crisis among Muslims in finding relationships, and advises using matrimonial sites sensibly and leaving early if someone seems odd.
machine4 min 59 s0:00on YouTube
2018 · 11
3 Aug 2018Responding to Refutations
Is there an authentic hadith that a wife may never refuse her husband sex?
Mufti Abu Layth says no version of the report that a wife cannot refuse her husband is free of criticism, since its chains run through al-A'mash and Qatada and carry hidden defects. He challenges his critics to produce one that cannot be faulted.
machine5 min 15 s3:50on YouTube
8 Jul 2018Responding to Refutations
Is it rape if a husband uses religion to pressure his wife into sex?
Yes: Mufti Abu Layth says using religious threats to pressure a wife into sex is still rape and categorically haram.
machine3 min 12 s0:00on YouTube
8 Jul 2018Responding to Refutations
Do the angels curse a wife who refuses her husband in bed?
No: Mufti Abu Layth holds the hadith is weak, resting on narrators who practised tadlis, and clashes with the Quran's command to treat wives with kindness.
machine3 min 48 s3:12on YouTube
8 Jul 2018Responding to Refutations
Critics silent on marital rape, and a story about research and conclusions
Mufti Abu Layth says his critics avoid the real issue of marital rape, and challenges them to produce a sound chain for the hadith.
machine6 min 38 s12:34on YouTube
8 Jul 2018Responding to Refutations
Is it haram to pressure a wife into sex by saying God will be angry?
Yes: marital rape is categorically haram, and so is religious blackmail, using God's anger to get sex. He reads the hadith of the angels cursing a refusing wife as justifying that.
machine4 min 25 s0:00on YouTube
15 Apr 2018Debunking Myths On: Jinns, Magic, the Evil Eye, and Superstitions
Can a jinn fall in love with someone or break up a marriage?
No, in Mufti Abu Layth's view: jinn, if they exist, would be as different from humans as extremophile bacteria, and nobody thinks a bacterium is jealous of their marriage. Relationships end through human behaviour, and people should own that rather than blame the jinn.
machine2 min 38 s58:57on YouTube
5 Mar 2018On Love, Romance, and Relationships
Is zina today the same issue it was in the past?
Much of the inherited social theory on relationships and marriage no longer matches today's reality, and Mufti Abu Layth calls for ulama to re-examine the context with fresh ijtihad. He describes marriage today as costly and idealised, with divorce and polygamy stigmatised.
machine5 min 10 s1:18on YouTube
5 Mar 2018On Love, Romance, and Relationships
Why is it so hard for young Muslims to marry, and what are they supposed to do about desire?
Men of eighteen or nineteen are generally not ready for marriage but have strong sexual needs, and Mufti Abu Layth says current religious teaching offers no real solution. He calls advice to fast and lower the gaze inadequate and asks scholars to acknowledge the problem.
machine5 min 15 s5:10on YouTube
5 Mar 2018On Love, Romance, and Relationships
Does an exclusive boyfriend-girlfriend relationship count as a nikah?
Mufti Abu Layth does not endorse the idea but calls it a good question that the ulama should discuss. He says the past had simple marriage, unstigmatised divorce and other accepted outlets, whereas Muslims today have only a culturally dramatised, expensive nikah.
machine2 min 37 s10:25on YouTube
5 Mar 2018On Love, Romance, and Relationships
Should I register my nikah as a civil marriage?
Mufti Abu Layth is not sure civil registration is the answer, because he objects to needing the state's permission to leave a relationship. He accepts the financial arguments on both sides, the man's fear of losing half his property and the woman's risk of being left with nothing.
machine5 min 08 s15:37on YouTube
5 Mar 2018On Love, Romance, and Relationships
What should a couple agree before marriage about registering and money?
Have an open conversation before marriage about registration and finances, and if the marriage is not registered the woman should keep her own work, income and property. Saying a woman may not work is cultural and backward, not Islam.
machine3 min 56 s18:10on YouTube
2017 · 4
29 Sep 2017From the Mind of a Mufti
Is a relationship between a leader and a follower automatically abuse?
A consensual relationship between adults is not abuse just because one has status, and Mufti Abu Layth calls the contrary claim insulting to women. Abuse of power is coercion, such as a boss demanding sexual acts to keep a job; Khadijah's marriage to the Prophet who worked for her is his first counter-example.
machine2 min 37 s23:33on YouTube
29 Sep 2017From the Mind of a Mufti
Is it wrong to be attracted to someone because of their status or position?
Attraction to status and relationships between people who work closely together are natural, not abuse, and Islam leaves consensual relationships to the people involved. Mufti Abu Layth cites Hasan ibn Ali, al-Mughira ibn Shu'ba and Ibn Hazm as figures whose private lives did not disqualify them.
machine3 min 57 s26:10on YouTube
29 Sep 2017From the Mind of a Mufti
Did great scholars like Ibn Hajar have private lives that would be condemned today?
Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani married a woman who had been his wife's slave girl without anyone warning the ummah against him, Mufti Abu Layth says, so such private conduct cannot be called abuse. Words like abuse imply real abuse and are dangerous.
machine2 min 36 s30:07on YouTube
20 Sep 2017Debunking Myths On: Jinns, Magic, the Evil Eye, and Superstitions
Could a jinn fall in love with my spouse and break up my marriage?
No: a jinn, created from fire, would belong to a domain of life as alien to us as extremophile bacteria, which do not fall in love or envy marriages. Blaming jinn or magic for a failed relationship comes from the stigma Muslims attach to mental illness.
machine2 min 37 s1:48:25on YouTube