Recordings › Zina, Marriage and Relationships - Mufti Abu Layth al-Maliki · 5 Mar 2018 › Segment 2 of 6
Why is it so hard for young Muslims to marry, and what are they supposed to do about desire?
muftis jahannam jahanam jahannum ulamaa talaq talaaq triple talaq talak in sha allah insha'allah in shaa allah insha allah inshaa allahMarrying at eighteen, sexual need and the absence of solutions today
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This segment5:10 to 10:25 · 5 min 15 sGeneral teaching
What this part covers
machinesummary, machine-writtenMen of eighteen or nineteen are generally not ready for marriage but have strong sexual needs, and Mufti Abu Layth says current religious teaching offers no real solution. He calls advice to fast and lower the gaze inadequate and asks scholars to acknowledge the problem.
In more detail
Continuing the answer, Mufti Abu Layth says that telling an eighteen- or nineteen-year-old to marry is a recipe for disaster given the immaturity of men at that age, while telling them to wait leaves them in a hyper-sexualised society where everything is about sex or romance. He says he wishes he had a solution and that many people reach out to him, but that the ulama refuse to recognise the problem. He describes what he sees when very young couples marry, including unwanted pregnancies, regret, fights and a lack of communication, and says the real issue is that men of that age are not ready for full family life yet have a strong need for sex, so that from a religious perspective Islam as presently offered has no solution. Asking listeners to suspend judgement, he says the past did not face this problem because divorce was not stigmatised and other outlets such as concubinage existed, and he calls the standard advice to fast, lower the gaze and take cold showers inept and inadequate in the face of high testosterone, saying the need is for sexual interaction. He says scholarship should first acknowledge that there is a problem, and greets a viewer doing research in this area with Dr Sherman Jackson.
Position stated
Mufti Abu Layth holds that men of eighteen or nineteen are generally not ready for marriage yet have strong sexual needs, that the usual advice to fast and lower the gaze is inadequate, and that, unlike in the past, Islam today has no solution to offer to this problem, which scholarship should acknowledge.
“so this is a huge problem from a religious perspective because there is no solution Islam has zero solutions to offer today”
Category: teaching
Kind: general teachingTranscript
machine5:10 to 10:25 · click a time to seek · dotted terms open the glossary
do you just get married what kind of a recipe for disaster is that so people are like look at and then young younger people at least say somebody 18 19 getting married seriously humanity humanity gives a loss on people humanity gives charity doing some great work in the Midlands helping homeless people orphans so if you if you want to get involved in some charity work reach out connect like and donate in Charlotte right so look so now you've got all of
these issues if somebody was like 18 19 imagine them getting married especially guys at that age aren't that the immaturity is unreal and and then what so then they're like well you know so people say no you must get married and other people say no just wait just wait but then we live in a hyper sexualized society where everything is about kind of either about everything is about sex or it's about romance which I suppose is connected to the first thing or it's
about like so living the life of being happy being and so what we have just doesn't work anymore and so the question is what is the solution i I don't I wish I had solution but and then people are like old you know they don't know what to do and God and you know like I have so many people reach out I I wish I had a solution but the ulema are refusing to engage the scholars are refusing to recognize that as a problem they just saying look what do I mean by immaturity
well like look let's face it an 18 year old a 19 year old is not really ready to to be married because all that's gonna happen as it does happen in some of these things so he gets married it's it will like I don't even need to it just leads to for example unwanted pregnancies it leads to great kind of like oh I made this mistake oh you never really right anyway oh and I mean this too many examples that I come across to kind of go through the fights the lack
of communication the but that the issue is I'll tell you what the issue is the issue is people are not ready for for kind of full-on living in couple mother and father relationships are young ages like let's say 18 19 even in the early to maybe sometimes it's the woman is but the man is older that's different but I'm talking about the men being that young now but at the same time they have a strong need for sex so this is a huge problem from a religious perspective
because there is no solution Islam has zero solutions to offer today now in the past and I'm not trying to say whether it's good or bad I'm not trying to justify I'm not trying to I'm just saying suspend your judgment for a moment but none of these things were an issue I mean one of the song people just got on with life divorce wasn't stigmatized people got married where they didn't get want to get married they had concubines so that was like don't worry about it why should I get married they're like well I could just I've all of these now I'm not trying to pass
a judgement I'm saying that that was whether it's good of what I'm trying to say is that they had solutions though so this fast and keep your gaze down get real joyed Jakub you obviously haven't tried to say that in the face of high levels of testosterone fast blast what the hell would I want to fast for
look let's face it so what these things are absurd this is why I find them in our day and age to be highly inept and inadequate responses cold showers no you don't need cold showers right you need what you need is obviously sexual interaction you don't need cold showers it's like you know like so let's get real now this is why people snap so today if
the Muslims would like the scholarship would first of all acknowledge that is a problem well started Omar Khouri she animus Island Tushar Rovner right so people started omar doing some awesome research from the states with legends like dr. sherman jackson so right there in the house so you can reach out to him inshallah right so yeah so i wish people would kind of have an open and honest kind of discussion on this and say that look in our day and age what is the solution because if we're going to be honest somebody asked a question that look a girlfriend and boyfriend
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Cite this segment
Stable id, transcript version and tier are part of the citation. Every change to a transcript is logged.Mufti Abu Layth Archive, segment 2018-03-05b-S02, auto-transcribed, may contain errors. https://muftiabulayth.org/r/zs1rln2djss/s/2/ (accessed 1 November 2026)
- APA 7
Mufti Abu Layth. (2018, March 5). Why is it so hard for young Muslims to marry, and what are they supposed to do about desire? [Video, segment 2018-03-05b-S02, auto-transcribed, may contain errors]. Mufti Abu Layth Archive. Retrieved November 1, 2026, from https://muftiabulayth.org/r/zs1rln2djss/s/2/
- Chicago author-date
Mufti Abu Layth. 2018. "Why is it so hard for young Muslims to marry, and what are they supposed to do about desire?" Video, segment 2018-03-05b-S02, auto-transcribed, may contain errors. Mufti Abu Layth Archive. Recorded March 5, 2018. Accessed November 1, 2026. https://muftiabulayth.org/r/zs1rln2djss/s/2/
- BibTeX
@misc{abulayth-2018-03-05b-S02, author = {Mufti Abu Layth}, title = {{Why is it so hard for young Muslims to marry, and what are they supposed to do about desire?}}, year = {2018}, month = {3}, date = {2018-03-05}, howpublished = {\url{https://muftiabulayth.org/r/zs1rln2djss/s/2/}}, url = {https://muftiabulayth.org/r/zs1rln2djss/s/2/}, organization = {Mufti Abu Layth Archive}, urldate = {2026-11-01}, note = {Segment 2018-03-05b-S02, auto-transcribed, may contain errors} }
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