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Everyday questions › Marriage and family

Marriage and family

Getting married, staying married and what happens when it ends: the contract, intimacy, in-laws, polygamy, divorce and the rights on each side.

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Latest answers

105 segments in 46 recordings, newest first
10 Mar 2023video LatestHow did Imam Malik come to study religion? His mother gently steered him from singing to study, and that choice made him one of the most influential figures in Islamic history. LessonImam Malikal-Nadr, Imam Malik's brotherQuran 2:282 (be mindful of God and God will teach you), alluded to [?] machine4 min 32 s17:40on YouTube
10 Mar 2023video LatestWhy was Imam Malik flogged? Malik was flogged for refusing to stop transmitting that a coerced divorce is invalid, which undercut forced oaths of allegiance to the Abbasids. Lessonposition checkedImam MalikMuhammad al-Nafs al-Zakiyyathe Abbasidsreport: the divorce of one who is coerced is not a divorce (transmitted by Malik through Ibn Abbas; unresolved) machine7 min 29 s49:58on YouTube
22 Feb 2023video LatestIs there an LGBTQ push in media and schools? Mufti Abu Layth agrees there is a disproportionate LGBTQ push in media and objects to sexualising young children, calling it hypocritical that polygamy cannot be described the same way. Discussionposition checkedpolygamy machine4 min 27 s20:23on YouTube
22 Feb 2023video Is it okay for adults or children to change gender? Mufti Abu Layth says gender transition is an adult's own choice after professional advice, but children should not be put through it until they can decide for themselves. Discussionposition checked machine6 min 27 s28:41on YouTube
10 Dec 2022video Did Abu Hanifa allow wudu with nabidh when there was no water? In the early school of Abu Hanifa, someone without water could make wudu with nabidh, a weak fermented date drink, and he helped people out of rash conditional divorce oaths, unlike the sterner Imam Malik. LessonAbu HanifaImam Maliknabidhwudu machine3 min 54 s28:48on YouTube
10 Dec 2022video LatestHow did Abu Hanifa solve the case of two brides sent to the wrong grooms? Where Sufyan al-Thawri advised divorces, a waiting period and remarriage to the original spouses, Abu Hanifa had each man marry on the spot the woman he had spent the night with, sparing a waiting period and jealousy. LessonAbu HanifaSufyan al-Thawrizifaf (the wedding night)nikah machine9 min 12 s32:42on YouTube
10 Dec 2022video LatestWhat is the story of the woman who tricked Abu Hanifa into a marriage proposal? Abu Hanifa died in 150 AH and is buried in Baghdad. In a story of uncertain accuracy, a woman tricked him into a marriage with a different bride to get him back for the clever reference he once gave a poor suitor. LessonAbu Hanifareport: the nikah with the least burden has the most barakahnikahhijab machine11 min 51 s56:24on YouTube
19 Mar 2022video Is mut'ah (temporary marriage) haram for Sunni Muslims? Mufti Abu Layth says most Sunnis hold mut'ah haram but a minority, including Ibn Ashur, held it is not categorically haram; follow the view you hold and do not fight over it. Question from live chatposition checkedmut'ah (temporary marriage)Ibn Ashural-Tahrir wa al-Tanwir (Ibn Ashur's tafsir, "in 30 volumes")Majd al-Din Ibn Taymiyya [?] (Ibn Taymiyya's grandfather; name garbled in the transcript) machine9 min 02 s0:00on YouTube
13 Apr 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Is child marriage legal in Western countries? No: Mufti Abu Layth says Western ages of consent cluster around sixteen and do not allow an adult with a child, and imams should condemn child marriage with one voice. Question from live chatposition checked machine3 min 57 s2:01:53on YouTube
13 Apr 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth LatestAre many people's frustrations really about unmet sexual needs? Mufti Abu Layth says much bitterness comes from unmet sexual needs, that Islam itself does not see sex negatively, and that Freud should be judged on his ideas, not his character. Lessonposition checkedSigmund FreudCharles Darwin machine9 min 11 s2:43:47on YouTube
6 Apr 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth LatestDid the Prophet say a wife should prostrate to her husband? The report is not authentic: it was probably put into circulation to support the family hierarchy of a patriarchal society. The report urging violent jealousy over female relatives is likewise fabricated. Question from live chatposition checkedreport: if i were to order anyone to prostrate to another i would order the wife to prostrate to her husband (called not authentic)report: the dayyuth who has no protective jealousy over his women (called fabricated [?])Adis Duderija [?]sujud machine4 min 55 s51:13on YouTube
6 Apr 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Are disgusting sexual fetishes between spouses haram? Such fetishes are not haram, however disgusting most people find them: contact with impurity is unclean but not forbidden, and what a consenting couple do in private is their own business. Nobody is obliged to do them. Question from live chatposition checkedTariq RamadanharamHanafi schoolno one may declare haram what Allah has not declared haram machine8 min 30 s1:04:21on YouTube
15 Mar 2021video What actually separates Sunnis and Shia, and is mut'ah really a Shia thing? The Sunni-Shia split is only about who has the right to rule, the Shia holding it stays in the Prophet's bloodline. Mut'ah and wiping the feet have nothing to do with being Shia; Sunnis used them as propaganda. Lessonposition checkedShiaSunniMu'tazilaAhl al-Bayt (the household of the Prophet) machine4 min 34 s2:24on YouTube
2 Mar 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth LatestDoes Ibn Hazm contradict himself in The Ring of the Dove? Mufti Abu Layth knows of no contradiction; he describes The Ring of the Dove as Ibn Hazm's mature study of the psychology of love and retells one of its bawdy stories. Question from live chatIbn HazmTawq al-Hamama (The Ring of the Dove)Hajj machine9 min 05 s28:09on YouTube
16 Feb 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth LatestIs celebrating Valentine's Day haram? Valentine's Day is not haram and need not be bad, he says, but do not let relationships become your identity or worth; keep your own goals and purpose. Lessonposition checkedMir [?]al-insan madani (man is a social being) machine7 min 27 s14:11on YouTube
16 Feb 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Why isn't the Mufti a Mu'tazili? Mufti Abu Layth says he is simply Sunni; sects are defined by core doctrines, the Shia by the sacred bloodline's right to rule, and mut'ah was pinned on them as propaganda. Question from live chatposition checkedMu'tazilaShiaIsmailiSunni machine6 min 48 s44:58on YouTube
16 Feb 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Are children held accountable in Islam for bullying or hurting others? Children are accountable, he says, in a way suited to their age: the laws for them are lighter, but a child who harms another does not get a free pass. Question from live chatposition checkedImam Malikshahadat al-sibyan (testimony of children) machine1 min 49 s2:38:10on YouTube
9 Feb 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Is it haram to hit someone in the face in boxing or MMA training? Mufti Abu Layth says hitting the face in sparring is fine; the hadith against striking the face concerned discipline, not fighting practice. Question from live chatposition checkedreport: when one of you strikes he should avoid the face machine3 min 43 s2:10:39on YouTube
2 Feb 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth A modern Arabic love poem: choosing honour over a friend's wife Mufti Abu Layth reads an Arabic love poem in which the poet turns down his friend's wife, preferring honour to betrayal. Other machine8 min 02 s55:20on YouTube
2 Feb 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Does being fair to two wives mean treating them exactly the same? Justice between wives is not mirror-image equality but fairness according to the understanding agreed, without oppression, Mufti Abu Layth says. Question from live chatposition checkedpolygamy machine1 min 20 s1:30:06on YouTube
26 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth At what age should children start learning about Islam, and what should they learn? Keep early religious education basic and natural, such as reading the Quran, the prayer and the stories of the prophets, with deeper study when children are older; he admits it depends on the child. Question from live chatposition checked machine3 min 55 s36:00on YouTube
26 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Dawah Man on intimacy positions, citing Ibn al-Qayyim, played and mocked Mufti Abu Layth plays and mocks a preacher's advice, attributed to Ibn al-Qayyim, against the woman-on-top position as encouraging femininity in men. Otherguest speechDawah ManIbn al-Qayyim machine6 min 33 s2:59:20on YouTube
19 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth What can I do if I can't afford to marry but want to avoid zina? Mufti Abu Layth has no easy answer: religion is failing people here because scholars and cultures will not discuss options, and marriage has become too costly for the young. Question from live chatposition checkedzinanikahmut'ah (temporary marriage) [?] machine7 min 31 s1:17:35on YouTube
19 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Why is it so hard to find real, honest people? Mufti Abu Layth says nobody fully knows anyone, social media feeds an endless search for someone better, and the appalling conduct of some Muslim men pushes women into hardline feminism. Question from live chatposition checked machine7 min 32 s1:25:08on YouTube
19 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Reaction to a niqabi's clip using driving as a metaphor for sex A clip of a woman in niqab using a driving metaphor for intimacy, in which Mufti Abu Layth sees nothing wrong. Otherguest speech machine2 min 04 s3:07:46on YouTube
5 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Is it haram for a mother to kiss her child on the lips? There is nothing haram in a mother kissing her child; he says the haram lies in the perverted comments, and the Prophet kissed his grandsons. Question written questionguest speechHasan ibn AliHusayn ibn Alireport: the prophet kissed al-hasan and al-husayn machine6 min 32 s26:01on YouTube
5 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Is anal intercourse with my wife haram? Mufti Abu Layth says no sahih hadith makes anal intercourse with one's wife haram, and that preachers should stop guilt-tripping people over private matters. Lessonguest speechreport: whoever has intercourse with his wife in her anus allah will not look at him on the day of judgement (unresolved)Abu Ibraheem HusnaynZakir NaikImam Malik machine7 min 28 s2:23:10on YouTube
27 Oct 2020Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth LatestHow do I heal my inner child, and how should I raise my children? Mufti Abu Layth says we are an extension of our inner child and that reconnecting with it can be unnerving but healing; with children, go with your heart and build a qualitative bond. Question from live chatposition checked machine13 min 51 s12:51on YouTube
27 Oct 2020Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth What does 'justice' mean in the Quran's verse on marrying more than one wife? Mufti Abu Layth says the verse requires equal treatment of wives as the benchmark, accepting human shortfalls, and does not rule polygamy out. Question from live chatposition checkedQuran 4:3Quran 4:129polygamyAbu Talib machine9 min 51 s50:22on YouTube
27 Oct 2020Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Did the Prophet forbid Ali from taking a second wife? Mufti Abu Layth says the Prophet objected not to Ali taking a second wife but to his marrying the daughter of Abu Jahl. Question from live chatposition checkedreport: fatima is a part of me whoever angers her angers me (unresolved; Sahih al-Bukhari, number not stated)Sahih al-BukhariFatimaAli ibn Abi Talib machine2 min 32 s1:18:40on YouTube

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