Everyday questions › Love, dating and relationships

Love, dating and relationships

Before marriage and around it: attraction, dating apps, a partner with a past, friendships across genders, and the Muslim difficulty with romance.

Example phrasings, not quotations. Each one runs a search.

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98 segments in 41 recordings, newest first

9 May 2023video LatestHow did the Prophet balance gentleness and strength? Mufti Abu Layth says the Prophet was tender, kissing his children, yet firm when safety demanded, riding out alone at night to check on a frightening sound. Lessonposition checkedreport: the prophet kissed his children; a man said he had not kissed any of his and was told whoever shows no mercy is shown nonereport: the prophet rode out on a horse without a saddle to check a loud noise at night and returned (Sahih Muslim, number not stated)Sahih Muslim machine3 min 05 s10:04on YouTube

22 Feb 2023video LatestShould scholars publicly condemn a scholar said to have joined in a libation ritual? Mufti Abu Layth does not think people have to condemn the scholar; to Mufti, pouring some water at a protest, as the scholar says he did without knowing the ritual's history, is not a big deal. Question from a callerOmar SuleimanDaniel Haqiqatjou machine8 min 47 s5:12on YouTube

22 Feb 2023video Should Muslims tell gay people what the Quran says about homosexuality? Mufti Abu Layth says Americans are overwhelmingly not Muslim, so speaking on issues there means speaking to non-Muslim norms rather than preaching the Quran to them. Question from a callerposition checkedOmar SuleimanLut (Lot) machine5 min 45 s10:48on YouTube

22 Feb 2023video LatestDid some Muslim scholars say homosexuality is not haram? Mufti Abu Layth says he described, not endorsed, a minority view that it is not haram; Islamic history holds diverse views, many scholars' poetry shows bisexual appreciation, and persecution is unacceptable. Question from a callerposition checkedal-Nawawi [?] (name garbled in the transcript) machine5 min 43 s16:33on YouTube

22 Feb 2023video Will gay people around us make Muslims gay? Mufti Abu Layth says people being gay does not make others gay and the fear of it is an unnecessary insecurity; like Imam Malik on others' customs, their way of life is theirs. Discussionposition checkedMatt WalshImam MalikMajus (Zoroastrians) [?]Jared Diamond machine3 min 51 s24:50on YouTube

22 Feb 2023video Is it okay for adults or children to change gender? Mufti Abu Layth says gender transition is an adult's own choice after professional advice, but children should not be put through it until they can decide for themselves. Discussionposition checked machine6 min 27 s28:41on YouTube

10 Dec 2022video LatestWhat is the story of the woman who tricked Abu Hanifa into a marriage proposal? Abu Hanifa died in 150 AH and is buried in Baghdad. In a story of uncertain accuracy, a woman tricked him into a marriage with a different bride to get him back for the clever reference he once gave a poor suitor. LessonAbu Hanifareport: the nikah with the least burden has the most barakahnikahhijab machine11 min 51 s56:24on YouTube

9 May 2021video LatestWhy did scholars say a slave woman's awrah is the same as a man's? Mufti Abu Layth says most scholars of the past legitimised the practice of slave girls out of pragmatism, realism and sex, and even presented it as a religious act. He contrasts this with music, which they were less keen to permit, and polygamy, which few manage today. Question source not recordedposition checked'awrahamah (slave woman)hijabIbn Hazm machine7 min 03 s0:38on YouTube

13 Apr 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth LatestDoes a community gathering have to be gender segregated? No: Mufti Abu Layth says adults do not need micromanaging and a gathering of men and women need not be segregated. Question from live chatposition checked machine1 min 18 s10:56on YouTube

13 Apr 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth What was the real crime of the people of Lut? Mufti Abu Layth says the people of Lut were destroyed for rejecting God, as in every prophet's story, with their other behaviour secondary. Question from live chatposition checkedLut machine1 min 19 s2:42:28on YouTube

13 Apr 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth LatestAre many people's frustrations really about unmet sexual needs? Mufti Abu Layth says much bitterness comes from unmet sexual needs, that Islam itself does not see sex negatively, and that Freud should be judged on his ideas, not his character. Lessonposition checkedSigmund FreudCharles Darwin machine9 min 11 s2:43:47on YouTube

6 Apr 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Did Mufti Abu Layth say incest is natural, and is homosexuality unnatural? Mufti Abu Layth never said incest is natural. He says that calling homosexuality unnatural is not scientific because it occurs in most species, though one may still hold it haram, and that he cited Imam Malik only for not interfering in other people's way of life. Lessonposition checkedImam Malikal-MudawwanaThe Third Chimpanzeeharam machine9 min 32 s56:10on YouTube

6 Apr 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Are disgusting sexual fetishes between spouses haram? Such fetishes are not haram, however disgusting most people find them: contact with impurity is unclean but not forbidden, and what a consenting couple do in private is their own business. Nobody is obliged to do them. Question from live chatposition checkedTariq RamadanharamHanafi schoolno one may declare haram what Allah has not declared haram machine8 min 30 s1:04:21on YouTube

10 Mar 2021video LatestCan I have a close non-Muslim friend and answer his salam? Mufti Abu Layth rejects as ignorance and nonsense the view that a Muslim cannot have a close non-Muslim friend or return his greeting. Assim al-Hakeem's answer in the clip, that only acquaintances are allowed and a non-Muslim's salam gets a smile at most, is the view being replied to. Question from a callerguest speechAssim al-Hakeemsalam (the greeting of peace)hikmah (wisdom) machine5 min 20 s2:37on YouTube

5 Mar 2021video Why did Imam Malik say nothing between spouses is haram and only pork is forbidden to eat? Imam Malik held that nothing sexual between spouses is haram and that no meat is haram in itself except pig, and Mufti Abu Layth says such rulings defend the principle that only Allah declares things haram. Saying something is not haram is not the same as recommending it. Lessonposition checkedImam MalikMaliki schoolAbu Hanifafatwa machine5 min 04 s3:59on YouTube

2 Mar 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth LatestDoes Ibn Hazm contradict himself in The Ring of the Dove? Mufti Abu Layth knows of no contradiction; he describes The Ring of the Dove as Ibn Hazm's mature study of the psychology of love and retells one of its bawdy stories. Question from live chatIbn HazmTawq al-Hamama (The Ring of the Dove)Hajj machine9 min 05 s28:09on YouTube

2 Mar 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Is the hadith about a woman breastfeeding the adult Salim authentic? Mufti Abu Layth calls the report of the adult Salim being suckled fabricated and mocks al-Albani's fatwa permitting it directly, welcoming Mohammed Hijab's attack on it as a sign he is outgrowing Salafism. Lessonposition checkedMohammed Hijabal-AlbaniYusuf al-QaradawiSahla bint Suhayl [?] machine6 min3:23:56on YouTube

16 Feb 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth LatestIs celebrating Valentine's Day haram? Valentine's Day is not haram and need not be bad, he says, but do not let relationships become your identity or worth; keep your own goals and purpose. Lessonposition checkedMir [?]al-insan madani (man is a social being) machine7 min 27 s14:11on YouTube

16 Feb 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Can a Muslim have a close non-Muslim friend? Mufti Abu Layth calls the teaching that Muslims cannot have close non-Muslim friends ignorance and venom that makes the deen suffer. Lessonguest speechAssim al-Hakeemsalam (the greeting of peace)duahikmah (wisdom) machine5 min 30 s2:03:51on YouTube

9 Feb 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth What does Islam say about the red pill movement? Mufti Abu Layth says hating on women, or men, is ridiculous, though he grants some red pill points about how society treats the sexes. Question from live chatposition checked machine11 min 34 s2:38:52on YouTube

26 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth A clip on parent titles for LGBTQIA+ families, and gender-neutral language Mufti Abu Layth plays and reacts to a clip on alternative parent titles in LGBTQIA+ families and comments on gender-neutral language, saying people forget humans are part of nature. Otherguest speechBritish Medical Association [?] machine3 min 56 s7:07on YouTube

19 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth What can I do if I can't afford to marry but want to avoid zina? Mufti Abu Layth has no easy answer: religion is failing people here because scholars and cultures will not discuss options, and marriage has become too costly for the young. Question from live chatposition checkedzinanikahmut'ah (temporary marriage) [?] machine7 min 31 s1:17:35on YouTube

19 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Why is it so hard to find real, honest people? Mufti Abu Layth says nobody fully knows anyone, social media feeds an endless search for someone better, and the appalling conduct of some Muslim men pushes women into hardline feminism. Question from live chatposition checked machine7 min 32 s1:25:08on YouTube

12 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Does the Quran clearly forbid homosexuality? Mufti Abu Layth says the Quran has no explicit prohibition of homosexuality, though most Muslims have held it haram; he thinks the aim was to push people into marriage. Question from live chatposition checkedLutQuran 5:38 (the thief's hand) machine3 min 50 s1:20:42on YouTube

5 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth LatestHow do I deal with toxic people and negativity around me? Leave toxic groups and block negativity, since people can never be pleased; he adds that he finds most religious circles toxic. Lessonposition checkedJuhareport: a man built a house and people said if only he had placed the door elsewhere machine5 min 22 s31:00on YouTube

5 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Dawah Man on pigs, wife-sharing and handshakes, played and mocked Mufti Abu Layth plays and mocks Dawah Man's claims about pigs and handshakes, and says shaking hands is not haram. Otherguest speechDawah Mansalaf machine6 min 17 s1:00:54on YouTube

5 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Is it haram to celebrate my birthday? Celebrating birthdays is fine and entirely your choice; he also recommends older friends for perspective when age brings anxiety. Question from live chatposition checked machine5 min 15 s1:45:33on YouTube

5 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth A preacher's video on masturbation: would you do it in front of your parents? Mufti Abu Layth plays and mocks a preacher's anti-masturbation video built on the question of whether you would do it in front of your parents. Otherguest speech machine3 min 29 s2:18:13on YouTube

5 Jan 2021Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth Is anal intercourse with my wife haram? Mufti Abu Layth says no sahih hadith makes anal intercourse with one's wife haram, and that preachers should stop guilt-tripping people over private matters. Lessonguest speechreport: whoever has intercourse with his wife in her anus allah will not look at him on the day of judgement (unresolved)Abu Ibraheem HusnaynZakir NaikImam Malik machine7 min 28 s2:23:10on YouTube

4 Jan 2021video Is masturbation haram in Islam? In the clip Yasir Qadhi says the majority hold masturbation to be haram, but that others held it makruh or permissible, citing Ibn Abbas's reply to a young man and Ibn Hazm, and that he believes there is no sin in it although it is better avoided. This is Qadhi's view played for discussion, not Mufti Abu Layth's own statement. Lessonquoted view, not his positionguest speechYasir QadhiZakir NaikQuran 23:5-6 (those who guard their private parts except from their spouses or right-hand possessions; also 70:29-30)Ibn Abbas machine3 min 58 s1:22on YouTube

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