Kidnapped in Cairo: Mufti Abu Layth and the Egyptian police

Speaking of memories, have did I tell you, you know, I was chatting with [laughter] some of the lads it came up, right? So we were speaking about the the the the my [laughter] encounter encounter with the Egyptian uh al-mis the Egyptian police police [laughter] [gasps] I don't know if I've told you have I told you guys this uh this this story [laughter] right so okay I tell you what let me tell you what the hell

I've got to cover the other topics, but let's I'll share a little story with you. Yeah, Egyptian police. [laughter] Egyptian police. So, this I must have told you guys the time when I got kidnapped when I was in Cairo. So, but I won't go into all of that. That another day. That's the uh the whole you know emotional roller coaster turbulent uh event.

But anyway so I was there on this kind of imam's training course. So this is going just under a decade ago. So this is going about what about eight years ago? Eight no maybe about nine or eight years something like that. So anyway, following that, following the the kidnapping thing, so the Alazar, we were guests at Alazar.

So they had said uh you know, they were obviously very you know what the hell. Yeah, I mean the kidnapping thing I' I'm sure I've mentioned that. But I'll mention that another I'll go into that some other time. But that that was like I got kidnapped and and robbed and so on and then they kind of just dumped me at this god knows this this bloody outside of Cairo. But the whole thing was that um Alazar were really kind of like whoo in a huff and a puff and you know this is obviously a disgrace and a dishonor to because these people have come from England because we had gone there formally.

It was a there were a group of imams and doing training and I got [laughter] I got kidnapped on the first night I didn't know it's bloody crazy. This is after the revolution. You see after the revolution for about a year there was a lot of there was a a massive spike in crime cuz the police was a bit neither here and neither. They they didn't know what their future was going to be.

So people had kind of obviously work had been impacted and crime and robbing and theft and kidnapping and all this had risen like massively. So anyway, forward [clears throat] the story. So Lazar like you know what the hell? What the hell? We need to uh we need to kind of uh sort this out. Let's take you to the police.

[laughter] [gasps] So anyway, they get this topnotch lawyer and they they make an appointment and they sent take take me there to the station. So go into this room and it's a massive long room. Yeah. So probably something like let's say I don't know at least probably about 10 at least about 10 m long 5 m wide like quite a reasonably large enough room which is pretty much empty and there's just one desk right and you've got this copper sitting there this inspector and he's got that kind of scarf on and he's sitting there and he's got his kind of

like [laughter] legs up his feet up on the desk and he's got this old school TV and he's just watching that. Yeah. And he's got like his coat on and a scarf on. It's a bit nippy. And that's all he's doing. So, we go in now. Me, there's someone else. There's there's uh the lawyer. We go in. They've got this appointment. They turn up and he sits down and he tells me that look, listen, I'll do all the talking.

Don't worry. You just sit there and, you know, let me handle it. So, I said, "Yeah, cool." So, we go in and he's he sits in front of the car park and he's talking to the car and the carper ain't interested. He's just like so annoyed to that, you know, this guy's disrupting my TV viewing. [laughter] So, he's sitting there like this. He's got both he's got both kind of feet up on the desk and he's like, you know, like this.

And so this guy says to him, "Look, uh, you know, uh, you know, please, you know, this is what's going on. This guy got this happened. He got kidnapped. You know, he's from blah blah blah blah blah." So he's doing this whole kind of, uh, he's trying to give him the spiel. So that guy says, "Yeah, first of all, he tries to ignore him and then he can't. He says, okay, what?" So he says, "Look, uh, this is the thing." Now I had some detail because I remembered that what had happened was you see because the kidnapping the plot was the thing was done by this taxi driver and somebody that was in on it with him his kind of

friend. So they had taken me first of all I had asked them that take me to this kind take me to a restaurant or something. So they had taken me to this place this matam. Now what had happened was at that place that guy had seen like my wallet and stuff and that's where he must have thought that you know what let's get this. [laughter] So anyway I told them that look why don't when I was at that when I was at that restaurant the waiters knew this this person because the way they greeted him and stuff.

So you know that's that's clear in there. You just go to those waiters ask them that's your point. So, so this officer, he's sitting there and he listens to the solicitor, the lawyer, and he goes, "Hm." He he goes to him, "You shh like, okay." He asks me, right? And I tell him, "Look, if we go to that restaurant, we know." He goes, "Uh, I didn't ask about that." [laughter] He says, "I've asked you when they kidnapped you and dumped you.

Where did they dump you?" So, I had obviously come to learn the road that I was dumped on. It was called Mansuria. So it's outside of Cairo going to this town called Mansuria. So he goes, "Ah." So he opens up this map and he goes, "Where where were you dumped on this map?" [laughter] So I say, "Look, I I I don't know.

Like, you know, I'm uh obviously I'm not from here." And so he goes, "No, no, just take a guess. Where do you think you were dumped on this map? [laughter] So I said, "Well, I don't know." Like the guy said to me that you're still a bit far from Mansour because I had asked for directions along the way. And so I said, "I don't know. Was I about here, halfway, or I don't know where was." So he said, "Ah," he said, "Yeah, see it goes to the lawyer.

Look, he's he's about here." Okay, now this is out of my jurisdiction. So, you need to go to the other [laughter] you need to go to the other police station and let me get back to watching what I was watching. So, now the solicitor gets all what the hell like basically he's told us get lost. So, the solicitor says uh he gets on the phone, calls some superior, and then he hands it to him.

He says, "Yeah, you know, you it's your dad on the phone. [laughter] this guy, "Yes, sir. Yes, sir." You know, somebody says to him, "Listen, you better help this guy and do all of this, you know, whatever." So, this officer goes, "Okay." So, he says to me that, "Do you remember where you got dropped off?" So, I said, "Look, I I don't." Yeah. But he goes, "No." He goes, "Basically, okay, we're going for a drive.

You like to me?" He goes, "With me. The others can follow behind in a police van. [laughter] So I said, "All right, cool." So I'm riding up front. I'm driving with this copper. Yeah. He's got this kind of like Jeep 4x4. We're driving down and he he goes to me, "Look, um, okay, we're going to get on track to that road and then you start give giving me directions." So I said to him, "Look, I I won't be able to remember.

I'm telling you now. It was my f I hadn't even been in the country for 12 hours. How would I?" But surprisingly I actually started recognizing the place you know I actually shop myself. I didn't think you know you start recognize oh yeah I do remember that shop. I do remember this. So as we're driving he says to me look um you know when you went to that restaurant. Yeah. He says be honest with me.

Did you have a little uh [laughter] the odd brandy? Did you have a little to drink? So I said, "No, no, no. I don't I don't drink." So he's like, "What?" He's like, "You don't." So he kind of like he he he stops the car [laughter] and he goes to me, "What?" So I go to him, "Look," I thought, "Damn, you know, this guy's going to get offended.

He probably drinks." I said, "Look, I don't cave if people drink, but I don't drink." So he goes, "Ah, okay." So then he starts kind of driving. [laughter] So we start chatting and he's asking me surprisingly I'm remembering a lot of the way. I honestly did not think I could but I when I was there I actually started recognizing yeah I remember reading that uh this I remember seeing this game shop. I remember yeah reading this this big billboard and so we're driving along driving along and so I said to him um you know what I was obviously I was very upset about the whole incident.

So I said to him, look, um, of I go to him, look, listen, um, if we catch the guy, [laughter] [gasps] I said, if we catch this guy, uh, um, cuz he was kind of like saying, you know, these Haramis and whatever, he was kind of badmouthing him. So I said, look, if we catch him, could you give me give me five minutes with him?

You know, it's Egypt after all, [laughter] you know. So some tender loving care that I could also give to him. So he said um so he goes look yeah no problem no problem. You know if we catch him we're going to he goes I'm going to give you five minutes with him. Then he goes what we're going to do is uh he goes uh he goes we're going to get him ali we're going to urinate all over him.

And he goes to me, "You are going to take a piss. You're going to take you're going to urinate all over him." Okay. So I said, I said, "What?" I said, "No, no, no." So he slammed emergency brake, slammed the car to a standill. He goes, "What?" So [laughter] I was like, "Whoa, what?" And he goes, "You're not going to take a piss over him." So I was like, "Uh, no.

I don't want to." He was like, "What?" And he got really worked up. [laughter] So he goes, "What?" So I go to him. Oh, okay. Okay. I go, "Okay, I'll [laughter] I'll take a leak as well." He goes, "Good." He goes, he goes, "We all we're going to all [laughter] we're going to take a collective leak over this guy." you okay?

Okay. So, I go, "Okay, man. We're going to All right. All right. We're going to [laughter] Nabul Ali." Then he starts driving off. But anyway, that's I I just wanted to share that. What happens is we get to this point where he says, "Uh, do you want to go left or right? Where do you go here?" And I said, "Look, I honestly can't remember." So, he stops the car and he says to me, he says, "Look, listen, you're Muslim." Yeah, I'm Muslim.

He goes, "You're Pakistani?" "Yeah, I'm Egyptian. We're brothers." He goes, "You know, we're Muslim." So I go, "Yeah." He puts his arm. [laughter] I thought, "Is he about to take a leak?" I thought, "Does it start here? Is this the He goes to me, look, you can be honest with me." Yeah.

Were you drunk at the time? [laughter] I go to him. Look, I wasn't drunk at the time. I'm I'm telling you, I wasn't drunk. He goes, I don't get if you weren't drunk, why can't you remember at this point whether the car went left or right? I said to him, look, I thought [laughter] I said, look, I honestly can't remember. I'm surprised I remembered all this. So, I said to him, look, uh, you know, I don't know.

So, he goes to me, okay, I've got an answer for you. So, I go, what's your answer? He goes, "Look, I'm going to pull up over there. You and me are going to get out the car. You're going to point to this place and say they dropped you off here." Okay. So, I go, "Okay." He goes, "No, no." He goes, "But this is our secret." Okay. He goes, "I'm not going to tell them that you don't know. [laughter] This guy's acting like he's doing me a favor." So, I was like, "Uh, okay.

I don't." He goes, "No, no. So," he goes, "Don't worry." He goes, he goes, I I got you. I got you. So he jumps out the car and he goes. So I step out the car. He goes. He goes ah here. Aa cha cha. So the van pulls up and he goes, "Yeah." He goes, "We've got the spot. We've got the spot. He was here. They dropped him off." So the the lawyer goes, "Okay." And he goes, "And this falls under the jurisdiction of that police station." [laughter]

So you guys need to go there. [laughter] Ah, Egyptian police. But people al this is the this is the fond memories. There you go. Let's move on people. Let's move on. Right. So sayy shukran. May Allah bless you too.

Right. Shukran for the super chat. You're doing it. You're doing it. Right. Golly auntie says, "Blow kiss at musty." Well, right back at you. Right back at you. I don't get it. Don't worry about it, man. Don't worry about it. Are you practicing Muslim? Why do you drink with your left hand? [laughter] I'm practicing the art of drinking with the left hand.

For the record, this is actually my right hand. As you can see, this these writing They are. Obviously, you guys can't read Arabic. [laughter] Not you guys, but that person definitely can't. But yeah, Mui on fleek. All right, you're doing it. You're doing it. Right, let's take a look people at Let's get to some more of the serious stuff. People are like, "Yeah, does this muty ever have a [snorts] people?" All right.

So, I'd been asked about this. I thought, look, let me shed some light. This is those of you that don't know to do with the verse in Surah Maida, I believe it's verse 31, uh speaking about the two sons of Adam. Now, Allah doesn't mention who they are, but Abel and Cain, the the classic story that you have right there, and it's followed by Cain murdering Abel.