Marital Rape Is Categorically Haram: A Qur'an and Sunnah Analysis by Mufti Abu Layth

right we've had this discussion I've had this question brought in front of me about marital rape in and it's understanding in Islam okay now this is a serious topic very serious and as you can imagine in this day me a lot of the non-muslims maybe X Muslims as well and atheists and Islamophobes have really sometimes and the right wing as well have attacked Islam on this kind of understanding so let me just clarify

beginning with the ruling straightaway right marital rape is utterly Haram in Islam okay there is not even one percent allowance for any there is ZERO tolerance towards marital rape okay I just want to put that out there first of all as the ruling there is no such thing and anybody and I feel that it is once again a it is an unfortunate sad representation and misrepresentation of Allah and His Messenger to say that they allowed marital rape right that is once

again a disservice and I would feel I actually treat these things very harshly and I would feel that this is a betrayal of Allah and His Messenger but other people will use less harsh words and say that okay there is it's at the very least a misrepresentation of Allah and His Messenger now just to begin with now what is this misunderstanding so this misunderstanding stems from a hadith people there's a very when I say famous I mean popularized hadith that has gone around is very popular in English

circled in Islamophobic circles even in schools secondary schools people know about this it has come up in many discussions that does the wife have the right in Islam say no to sex and people say she doesn't and that is nonsense she absolutely does right now I want to clarify what's going on people are basing this understanding on a hadith this hadith that they are saying is found in Sahih Muslim it is

found in sahih bukhari it is found in of the hold in ad army and in the muslin of imam ahmed okay it is a hadith that is solely transmitted pretty much by Abu Huraira rhodiola on now this hadith pretty much works around this wording so I'm gonna read one of the wordings obviously they're all pretty much very similar to this wording that is Alberta tell Maura that if a woman goes to sleep or spends the night spends the night can be translated as that [ __ ] rotten Suraj's og huh

Oh [ __ ] letter farish's og how it can be read in either way right so if she spends the night having abandoned or not sleeping with her husband in another narration he says either there are if the husband calls his wife enough ll Faraj to the bed and she says no so he has that variation in some narrations so laughs I'm not Hal Malika the angels will curse this woman had tattoo spare until it's morning and in and one of the

rewire had tautology until she returns to the bed so he doesn't have to be the morning it could be days later until she returns to having sex with him in one of the rewire it says it doesn't say the Angels it says yes hut allay her that the Lord's wrath will be upon her the Lord Himself Rob Usama or manfist cemaat the one in the heaven the one in the sky above will be we'll have his wrath for her and his anger now this hadith right that we're

going to take a look at is the is the cause of this problem okay this hadith is problematic and I will demonstrate how this hadith is unreliable and clashes with the clearly established with not only reason the three the golden three with reason the established sources of the Quran and Sunna and the principles within Islam right so first of all let's just take a look at these these chains okay now well what I'll do is I'll focus pretty much let's take a

look at the body rewire because everybody puts Buhari first then we'll take a look at saw a Muslim as well and then there's one two others we'll take a look at them so okay like I said this narration mainly comes pretty much only through Abu Hurairah or the Aloha from him it centers on some transmitters primer primarily is centers on a mesh and it centers on Qatada these two pretty much this is how it pretty much kind of comes down there are some other issues as well along the way and what else I'll speak about them so let's take a look at the

first rewind Buhari like which I've quoted to you now this comes through at much at much what do we know about how much at much is saying an abbey has him and Abu Hurairah it's transmitted from arena mesh he was known as a major Moodle is okay motherless that means what he that he would often just omit people and try to make the chain look as though it sound now some people have done at least sometimes by good intentions but he was known to do to lease from weak narrators a lot much

abnormal Barack said about him in the mayavada Haditha a lil Kufa abou sock and a lot mesh that these two have destroyed the hadith of Kufa in terrible c'mon it stated that he did said least from over 20 come 20 20 shares from over 20 shares edited lease from one of them in over a hundred narrations Wow I let you said in his jamot tassel and even after boring ystem Heath that you didn't listen I need the author that he would have met people knowing like he would try to bring up a sound person to make the chain get by

the hobby tries to justify for him a bit by saying Rob I'm adolescent a naive sometimes he he does at least from a dive narrator but well I had the Rivini you know maybe he didn't know this is what he he tries to other people were very harsh about him more said notorious says he was a killer he was a liar Abhaya a robber I said his motto motohama medina he that he's rejected and has an agnostic wanted his life at the very least this person is problematic there is an honor in this chain that means he's not saying I heard he is dropping it as Justin from Abu

Hassan then you might say oh well but there's a rewire from this a rewire in mihari from Shah Baba on Suleiman from Abu Hassan what about the aha no I machine that chain aha but I will say that were nice but here who's transmitting that in Bihari that is transmitted but if not be ID what do we have to say about if na VI T Omaha tomorrow Z said la jus be in the missin Yamaha resale collab na VI D line Lucas

viva la mercè a nominal Jerry 11ft law that he was somebody openly admitted later on transmitting certain narrations which were problematic himself and about her Tamara's enemies and says we don't accept from him okay but then you might say but in Buhari there's another narration Mohammed even Hara Hara from Shah Baba from Qatada from zarada from Abu Huraira aha Mohammed even our era has some problems himself but lets us put him aside as I said the these narrations rest mania and our mush and patada

kitada himself was another mushroom motherless at least he would often omit people Lobby said he was my roof but at least if my band said the Hakim said that all these people abu dawood said he did at least from over 30 people let me ask madam in home but pretended as though he'd heard from them even a Hodja even puts him in the third category of mother listen lay off the Jew be him who are not reliable right so you might say ok so that's the three narrations found in Bihari

what about a Dharma Dharma is Naiya is from katate again what about enactment humble once again from kitada what about another narration a midden humble from our mesh oh but what about you might say ah but in ahmed even humble this one narration where kitada is saying he's saying half piranha that he's saying that I heard and I heard that you know so he's using the word he's not doing hana hana you think a church first of all that would be massively problematized if that was the case why didn't he say in the more

authentic narrations why didn't they transmit that from him secondly who's saying that other said this buzz and what does about had to Madrasi say about bajas let you be that you be so out this one is well out okay let's take a look at the narrations in sahih muslim generation in sahih muslim come from even abu omar who says i heard from Marwan who says from yes either mimic a son from a bow has in the same narration going back to abu hurayrah this is either black a son interesante yeah even if Japan says lay some in me you're a

tomato Ali is not reliable about her tomorrow Z says liar a Jew B we do not take him as an evidence right if nature even says he tries to be good Sasa Duke is trust yo he makes mistakes not nice this on right so there's another narration in Muslim you might say I'll say indeed there is people indeed there is but who's in that I'll Amish is it man does he do Anna yes so out out so as you can see all of these narrations that I've quoted they all comes through Abu Hurairah

and predominantly just rest on these to mush and Qatada both with Mahan Hanna the other change with somebody claims that they said III he heard has other problematic people in me or other connected change like this he has either in a case on which is unacceptable or which I mentioned like bajas is they laugh about maahes or even Abbiati okay so that's this particular hadith so now you might say okay well but okay the hadith is problematic and what Mufti and

what well and a lot because this is not a small matter first of all I want you know like actually I was showing on my facebook I came back I received this week a lot of books on Jennifer to a deal that's that what I call textual pathology that's Imam Muslims Tamizh these are books that's you've got Imams ovaries problematic narration in four volumes this is the problematic what I call passage in naira toriel pathogens

unloved I want the credit for that narrow toriel pathogens there Ellen right in textual pathology in a little hadith these are those that were found inside Muslim so that's an awesome kind of reading I've been doing these are the ill hadith but you've got allele Medini but this is an interesting contemporary work as well now look Allah when you reject the hadith with one of the key things because it's from a well-known everyday ubiquitous matter a woman baloise the Hanna fear were

really huge on this and they give examples like things like breaking the wood all by touching your private parts everybody should know this why should it only be transmitted through one person etc and they go through the narrations then you've got other sections like when the photo of the sahabi himself goes against a likable haridas famous hadith saying that look when the dog licks the bowl you need to wash it seven times but abu huraira own fatwa was no you don't need to wash it seven times three times is enough so there's an that's a bull rider himself going against what he's transmitting that's an example but let's

say and then when the narration goes against the tears or the Hawaii in Islam so from the Hanna fear a signal burnt body you got a boos aid and many of the motifs Irene from the Hanna fear and the Baghdadi eens from the male Kia rejected many Kabbalah had if they went against some people called it chaos but what they refer to as banana said was the power in the principles which I established in Islam remember the three things which I've mentioned right so you say well what's the problem with this well first of all how could something so well known only be transmitted through one companion above radar of the Allah on when you

think about it how marriage and they must be contentions happening every day in married life so people are living with the Prophet a Barrera only comes to the prophet in the last two three years of his life yet the prophet has spent a decade in medina married families every day everybody living there why does everybody not know this why is the only coming through these people so that's one key contention but let's go back to the Quran right what does the Quran say the Quran when it speaks about women wives

ah she Runa Bill Maher oof that live with them with kindness with known kindness wilma ruth is forcing to have sex is that kindness Gitano Gitano that is utterly unacceptable let's take a look at another verse voila unum is really the alley in Nabeel Maru and they have the same rights as they have against them like same for you same for them there's no hadith saying the man will be cursed if the woman wants sex no such

hadith no such narration that the Lord will be upset and so on right what about another verse where a lie saying where things don't go well for him sir come Bhima our orphan otice Leehom BSN verse of the Koran people surah Baqarah that for himself sir hold on be my roof hold on to that relationship with Marouf with kindness also sorry humble son okay it's not working this incompatibility between us irreconcilable differences fine you go your way I'll go my way that is fun this is what the Quran is highlighting

somebody could argue in the Quran this a woman where it's addressing the issue of in that particular example of a woman creating issues in the household so when enamor aim in Ratan Nash's at that when this new shoes the Nashes ax the woman that is an Ashes ax that is stirring up trouble and doing this in the household and many people said new shoes included included they said refusing sex not having sex and so on Allah didn't say I lay her lagna to LA she has the curse of Allah on her and stuff like this he

doesn't say that and that's a discussion which I addressed in a different in a different talk so I don't want to digress from that what about another verse of the Quran woman ayat e he and from a lot of science and helical are common and physical as watch and that he created for you partners let us come o alaihe so that you may find comfort in now look at this that you may find comfort now we understand that that may be in many ways one of the ways physical comfort obviously right what yeah lebay nakooma what the Tamarama and he placed

between you love compassion that's not compassion marital rape that's no way compassion utterly on except those against the quran this teaching that now you're gonna say yeah but that's not marital rape if anybody argued that that's not marital rape yes it is it's emotional blackmail you're emotionally blackmailing a woman to say that well God is gonna curse you and distant you from his mercy unless you come here and have sex with me that is

emotional blackmail which is abuse which is emotional that is that that is a form of manipulative rape because the other person is not wanting to do it and you are then saying God is gonna be angry with you if you don't get yourself here right now so that is marital rape and that is utterly utterly Haram let me go on though people there is a hadith now this hadith comes in Buhari it comes in even imagine it comes in

necessary that the wife of cybertip nutcase her name was Jamila Tecna saloon she Jamila this woman that was a name the Miller does mean beautiful as well but and apparently she was very beautiful so but that's sending the wife of Tibetan apiece she comes to the prophet and complains about being with her husband she'd got married to him and she wasn't happy in this relationship and she says my article Ali if he Dean in 1a who look she says I can't criticize not his Deen nor his good character

I can't criticize either me the guy's got impeccable character good character well-mannered I'm Dean he's got good Dean Wow okay says Huayra and Nia Crowell Kufra body man I don't want to be somebody who goes to ku for after faith in another rewire she said vera and Neela or taeho who both bang I can't handle him out of despising him in some narrations she said when he comes to me I would rather spit in his face then

have sex with him great guy great guy great character right great Dean but she said and in some narrations there's narrations in Bazaar and mustard of Ahmed when Matt Maher says she says that you can see what I have in terms of beauty like I'm she was apparently very beautiful and she says that he was known Lida mama for being not to disrespect him but he was known for being quite not so easy on the eye quite ugly like they people said he was the meme so he was a bit ugly so she

just couldn't tolerate that and she's in some narrations like I said she said I'd rather spit in his face than have sex with him but he's a great guy otherwise you know I'm not saying he's a he's a horrible nasty person he's not but she says this brings out the worst in me did the Prophet say I'll a healer to law almal Erica to tell Anouk the angels are cursing you yes Holly Kira book the Lord is is angry with you Hatter Jie had to stay here until you go back to his bed until you do this until you do that of course not the messenger of allah

sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said fine said to him the liquor she had because they marriage relationship was quite new she had recently acquired a part of his asset and so it doesn't look like she's doing this just to con him out of his assets the Prophet asked you know this recently acquired land due to from him you're happy to give it back she said yeah prophet said take it said to him and and finish this relationship right now rahmatan lil holla me a mercy for the world that's the messenger of allah now in another rewire I want the Prophet

himself was married to a woman now there's some debate on the name of this woman some people say her name was Omaima bent shall I heal some people said she was Alcala bia whoever she was the Prophet some people said that here's a woman she's looking to get married the Prophet got married to her and this is transmitted you have this the certain narrations of it in different books some even in Buhari in Asahi hain alluding to it now the Prophet when he just went into the house and she was there some she said house of Allah he mink I seek

refuge in Allah from you now the Prophet said faqad earth to be nothing you have sought refuge in the mighty and and he said and he left and he said that this this relationship won't work and and he left it and he said - it's a loose aid that give her such and such thing as a gift and we've I'll finish this all divorce from this relationship now the scholars did dispute why did she say how's the below him Inc some people say she was set up to say that like some of the wives I told her say this the

Prophet likes hearing that some people say she didn't know him who he was the Prophet she was just told hey would you since she was interested in getting married this was an arranged marriage and she did not know that was a prophet but her words to the prophet and the Prophet said that look well she's obviously whatever but she doesn't seem very happy with this relationship let's end this right here you see that is what relationships are the Prophet could have said all the Millea Catalan oak the angels curse you this happens that happens no that is not how Islam works okay another and this is one of the most important narrations I want to bring

your attention to people the verses of the Quran I've said that the women have the same rights as you they usually live with them with kindness you either accept them with kindness will separate great hair gracefully that you that Allah placed love and compassion between you that is the Quran takes precedence then there is a hadith this hadith is inside Aloha D it is inside Muslim it isn't necessary it is intimacy it is in a Buddhahood it is in the Muslim Ahmed it is in soon another me not the messenger of allah salallahu alayhi wa sallam from rock bottom in our mail that he said shoot

that the most most deserving of the conditions and tofu be had that you must be loyal to master Alton be he'll Forge that which you got married by that which you got married that and the actual wording that which you made their private parts hello to you by now people here say oh that means be kind provide food do this you did not make that condition when you got married what was the condition the shot for the macaque

to be valid the short for the nikah to be valid wasn't is there food in your cabinet that was in the shot was the shot have you got a hole so do you have a vehicle or do you have money that was never the short of anakata made you know the a woman halal for you the shirt was consent it was consent was the shot Reba was the shot a little para thing that she was supposed to say a bill to I accept that condition you must live up to you you cannot turn away from that condition

that hadith is found in body in Muslim in Dar mean thermodyne abu dawood in muslin of ahmed how can people justify away from the clear verses of the Quran Lia teachings of the messenger the the the principles of Islam that although there is no harm in Islam how could Islam condone harm how could it condone harm like this this wouldn't it would do nothing but breed hatred if you were so these these clearly show in a matter

that is so well known how is the only operator of the along one transmitted it how is that and that - through mainly at mush and Qatada both through mainly tagless and Hanna and the chains in the problems which I've already highlighted and it clashes with you see the the wife of which I submitted in a face his her story which I just read to you it clashes with this hadith of operative Muhammad that you must maintain the initial condition for nikah and that condition was consent right so anybody telling you anything different is wrong they are either ignorant they're either

misinformed or they are misrepresenting Ilana's messenger and I seriously beseech them I am as plead to them to stop misrepresenting Allah and His Messenger now somebody may say to me look somebody may say to me that yeah but look in in a relationship naturally there's always some compromise that's a fair statement true there is always compromise in relationship that's the very essence of relationships and you might say well look even with sex one of

the two partners it's not always that both partners are always on that mindset equally at the same time one of them might be kind of always a bit of a compromise like okay you think well fine that does may happen and I'm sure that happens right so you might say well so what's the problem look that is not necessarily the problem the problem is that can you persuade people like can you know if you're in a relationship and a person wants to be intimate and the other person's feeling and you persuade them

people are always persuading people hey come on let's do whatever nobody's arguing against persuasion but it should be done one two important factors one through non-abusive means not physical not emotional not mental psychological abusive means abuse does not enter your persuasion you can persuade people you could be nice to people you could do things you people are always persuaded people are persuaded to do everything you know that's but not through abusive

means no way - if you're gonna persuade people don't bring God into it don't bring God Allah and his messenger to justify you having sex that is Haram by all means persuade somebody be good to them be kind whatever I listen oh you know how about holiday hey whatever you gonna do not holiday every time I'll be like a daily holiday but my point is persuade people not through abusive means any kind of abuse mental physical abuse is psychological emotional

religious spiritual and - do not bring God do not drag the name of Allah and His Messenger to just fulfill you need to have sex then he studies that is unacceptable Allah and isn't his messenger are not to be used as tools for you to manipulate people so you can have sex your by your own means relationships is true they are always kind of compromising balances and you can persuade people that's that's your life it's your business it's between you two but these things are

utterly Jara so that's something I thought was very important to clarify because look at the end of the day you have to think of it from reason look if you're a woman and there are many women out there even for men just think about it or if you've got a sister or a daughter or you know it could be anybody just think about it just put your theory of mind is put yourself in the hey you don't like to be emotionally blackmailed into having sex being violated just

because God is gonna curse you this that is just loma and then to attribute it back to is the messenger of allah so allah i leave salaam is even worse so these were some words that i've seen a lot of people misuse I felt that look they had to be clarified I will clarify that look Islam by all means does teach that a couple men and women have rights were in a relationship you have rights upon each other people should not claim unnecessary mind games with each other people should not Aslam does speak about

look people should not withhold sex from each other as a kind of a kind of instrument to make the other person suffer and if that is happening then you need to question the relationship you're in if a person let's say there's sexual incompatibility between a couple if it could be the woman it could be the man if somebody has a greater sexual libido than their partner and it's just not working then they need to question if the other oh if the other person is withholding sex to make them suffer then they need to question themselves am I in the right relationship why am i

suffering why is this person you know doing this with me or whatever and then if they uncomfortable in a relationship they should just part ways gracefully and that relationship is not for them or maybe they can discuss it maybe something maybe they can improve on it maybe they can work on it but what I'm trying to say and obviously through stages of life people's libidos will vary as well sometimes you know rocketing sometimes maybe not so much sometimes rocketing right but the point is that these things are all natural but what you don't do is to get this done let's

bring down Allah and His Messenger and yes alhamdulillah so that's very disrespectful and I find it very dishonorable to Allah and his messengers on earth so I hope that makes sense people I think with that it's been two and a half