Secret Marriages | Mufti Abu Layth

mostly I and my girlfriend want to get married secretly let's bring them in life both of them a bet secret Anika is bringing both of them live that c-class lit their set these people a chive on to get married secretly is it okay because we're not harming anyone you know I

should be a judge we're not harming anyone in our secret marriage is agreed by us but not by parents hmm you see I've got a response on this before in much detail but what I would say is that look these things you see people have to

make a sensible decision okay you see I've said before I don't believe things like mota are haram I don't believe things like I've got a detailed video where i speak about Nika with a willy is a Woolies a guardian a condition for any car now like you're asking the question the parents don't know or they don't they won't agree I don't know I'm guessing it could be one or the other what I would say is that look sometimes parents can be

unnecessarily stubborn they can be very kind of dogmatic they can cause a lot of you know they can be like that and I get that and you know and I understand that they don't have a right in that sense to stop other people from cry to live their lives on the same token what I would say is that you know for some girls maybe this is not for all maybe this varies amongst people but look if you you have to be real and be sensible as well because you are taking

a risk with this guy because I'm gonna be honest that most I say open look most guys or dogs ok so now I don't you know if this is a relationship like let's say a guy in a girl have an understanding that they like each other and they understand that this may not go some way long-term and they want to be in a relationship and they both accepting of that like they recognize that but they like each other and they want to be intimate and they want to have a relationship like let's say for that

period of time ok as consenting adults I would say fine you know they I would feel that the Sharia does give that permission to them it's not Haram in Islam however some people may not be that kind of mature especially and I don't mean this in a way to infantilized people or to say that for example boys or girls are dumb it's not an issue of being dumb but sometimes some let's say let's say a girl and I'm using I'm aiming this at the girls because society's is harsher unfortunately

towards girls so if a girl is madly in love with a guy and she's thinking that I'm gonna do a secret make out with him and I don't care my parents can go to hell and they can go to hell and they can go to hell and you know I'm just gonna live with him and wigging oh it's gonna be heaven and but why can't he do an open then you know why can't he just do it open why secret because she's gonna say well you know because then there's gonna be a backlash and I just wanna I know they say gonna really go anyway and we're just doing it like okay but then you are

taking that responsibility because let's say six months down the road he says well now this Jessica is over just go boss just gah and he says this you know this kind of like excitement is now you know now this excitement not too exciting now excitement need new excitement at that point he saying yeah you know mm-hmm you know I'm not that you know I'm bit desensitized here I needed somebody else

you see and and the problem is that that may very well happen in these societies in society not these in society and you have to will you have to understand that you are taking on that responsibility now if you are gonna be crushed if you're met with such a situation then I will you know then this is the point that you have made that decision so I would say that look don't treat these things lightly I understand that in some situations parents are just being so

harsh unnecessarily and you may have to make a decision in life I get that but I'm not so fond of the whole secret secret thing but I understand that they may be situations where people may say look it's not a secret but we're not you know shouting at the top of our throats about it and that's fine but remember you have to bear that responsibility like I would say let there be some kind of transparency not are you thinking just in case you're thinking that oh this is he's gonna stick with me through thick and thin and he's thinking this is

a spring term thing you know and that kind of heartbreak might be devastating and you might mean on then you're kind of like you don't know who to turn to you don't know so what I'm saying is just be sensible look your decision is your decision nobody I don't feel people have the right to rob that from you but at this but I feel it's important to say with that decision does come responsibilities don't later on kind of say well oh you know oh my god like you like you have to make that decision and and look at it look worst

case I embrace it and then fair enough if you're happy with that then that's what I would say but be be a realist okay so that's what I I want to kind of so if a girl is happy to embrace it like that like you know sometimes some women may already be for example they've got mothers they may have you know they they may already be in a certain lifestyle that they're happy like they don't you know they've got a career they focused on business or they focused on studies or they got maybe children or a child or they you know they let's say a relationship they've already had it's over and they don't mind having a

relationship like that or maybe a good woman isn't even in those circumstances and doesn't mind but if what I'm trying to say is if you are expecting this kind of vision of a knight in shining armor and we're gonna have all these amazing kind of you know coffee with Bay and in the Bahamas with Bay and I don't know what you big on say Aria T veggie base what we used to say in our language we say for like for mum I mean say a me but

like be do you Sonny be it's like coffee with me so all of this so I'm just saying you know take that into consideration because if you fall you know if you hit the ground you're gonna hit it hard so be weary that's all