Intimacy Not Sex | Mufti Abu Layth

if both people in the marriage aren't sexually driven then no need to force sex you know i love the the name the profile name it suits the question i'm trying [Laughter] i'm trying yeah i'm trying yeah um i agree with you that it's true we people you can't force people for any kind of sexual stuff it's not it's not on

i would also say on that note that look marriage or a sexual relationship an intimate relationship will be centered or orbiting let's say will orbit a it will orbit intimacy conceptually because that's the nature of the relationship so let's say i had a business relationship with someone we both are invested in the company then

this it is our relationship is orbiting finance business that's the the kind of thing that we are orbiting around this is what has brought us together and intimacy and intimacy is more than just sex it's not just sex in fact often this isn't something that is confused many think and you know many hurting people there's many souls that are hurting and through this journey of life they want to heal that pain

and and that um that piled with the the urges and instincts natural instincts that we have that coupled with the instinct sorry p many people feel that it is sex that they are seeking and people are seeking sex i'm not saying they're not seeking sex but you see what they are and the dopamine rush does give a momentary numbing so the dopaminergic drives and then the

release of dopamine and a person does get that high in the the kind of orgasmic pleasures but it doesn't afterwards they still devoid and this is why some people after sex can be even more depressed and it may be because of they need the dopamine again but it may be that they often certain people uh in psychological studies will report feeling lonely after uh after sex after sexual intimacy or sexual contact now not contact actual sex so you see because what often

what people think they're seeking is safe but what they in essence seeking is intimacy the to be touched to be held to be so intimately close to someone to be fulfilled sensually but through emotions to complete a void this is what many people are seeking obviously the actual sex comes along with that as well but they're not necessarily the same thing

so what i was saying is in relationships intimate relationships they center around orbit intimacy so if one partner is not somebody that is drawn to intimacy or is not drawn to is asexual let's say and the other partner isn't that they are sexual or they are seeking intimacy then they are naturally going to be some this is a challenge okay this is naturally an issue and it needs to be addressed it should

not just go unaddressed because people need to and because this is going to cause some conflict because there is a conflict of what you're orbiting here in in the very essence of this relationship so either people talk about this they explain they try to come to some understanding they try to maybe this maybe there's some you know there's they they can work their relationship build themselves maybe they can't and they've realized that look this is not the right thing this is not the right person for me because i'm in this is only going to lead to conflict and it's not going to work in which

case they gracefully go their own way and they find someone that is compatible with them both ways somebody that's asexually compatible or somebody that's sexually compatible but what i'm trying to say is there is a maturity don't you see everybody's developing at their own pace don't force your pace onto someone but maybe you can work things out but it should definitely be addressed maybe you can't work them out but then that should be acknowledged and accepted and people move on they think well you know there's no no point just making

each other's lives difficult i mean you know what's that humbly do you know i'm drowning i'm gonna drown you as well my darling as the poet says so yeah most people aren't asexual i i agree i don't think most people are but um if it's if it's a spectrum people are placed at different some people are more on the spectrum as being sexual than other people so and usually people can find a middle ground

but sometimes they can't and because people don't have maturity to understand these then who you know tantrums and people throwing a fit and and then this is just you don't want it to be toxic