Inspirational Poem by Wali Shah | Mufti Abu Layth

oh I know yeah you know as you did come back to the faith you wrote a a poem kind of responding to a similar cry didn't you a question and and a response as well [Music] um just I I wanted if youve if you've got that would you would you be kind to share that with us so i' I'd love to share that poem and then I'd love to share the story behind I did write it at a time in life where I was um I was really dealing with a very personal challenge so I'd love to share

the personal of course these do what had kind of led up to um you know to this whole experiential uh breakthrough that you had so please y so I want to share I want to share this poem and then talk a little bit about uh the the moment that inspired this poem so this poem is called conversations with God ready this all

right 4 am and I can't sleep I have thoughts in my mind that I can't speak Faith but right now there's some truths that I can't face how come criminals walk free but good people die of cancer why do the rich get richer the poor stay poor and why do my questions go unanswered how does God allow people to starve to death but expect to be praised in every prayer and breath how come people who pray contradict what they preach how come tyrants and oppressors don't get impeached why does he bless

them with status or bless them in speech yet ask us to empathize with the hungry and weak am I the only only one who asks am I the only one who's getting sick of wearing masks and if I'm careful what's wrong with having sex or a drink I'm scared to ask these questions because I fear what he'll think so before I die I'll let my thoughts live through the ink without faith am I free or is that when I sink I'm not asking for a miracle or change in the weather but I feel torn by what I see and I can't piece it

together and I'll never believe blindly and pray for the better so God if you exist please respond to this letter wow dear child I'm glad you asked me only I can guide you clearly and I'll always answer you when you call on me sincerely and I've loved you so much have you ever loved love me dearly I even loved you when you never wanted to be near me I know you're angry but I'm glad you wrote

this letter if you weren't tested then how would you know to be better flowers grow with rain don't pray for change in the weather sometimes the pieces need to fall so we can solve them together I am deeper than religion I am a spiritual bond seek my friendship before you seek to belong how would you know good if you never did wrong a muscle needs to be broken down before it can grow strong you asked good questions and I place the

answers within you if you see evil in this world then strive so it doesn't continue if there's Tiant who spread evil then rise to your feet how would you know success without knowing feet I see the homeless man you ignore when you walk down the street the parents who raised you I see you often mistreat I am the closest to you in fact I'm right beside you I know the women that you cheated on and the people that you lied to but I never lost hope because I see the good inside you and I know that you can change but only you

decide to wow thank you wow that was was amazing man seriously that was incredibly profound Subhan Allah I mean it's amazing how the word can rise from an individual and it can evoke an entire State of Mind in the other I I feel in many ways that is a miracle in and of itself so easily undermined but just wow in some ways that was reminiscent of uh I don't if you're familiar with

albal yes where he love I love him he has a shika a complaint to God and he has a jaab shika um or shik in but and I I love the way you had the the kind of open letter and the response to it the ja yeah man that's that's a that is amazing wow Subhan Allah and this um this you've written since you you kind of came back to Islam is it yeah wow

um you know my mom my mom was in the ICU and there was a tumor in her heart and she had to get open heart surgery to remove that tumor okay and I remember I remember sitting there and uh in the waiting room and you just never know what's going to happen with surgeries like this you there's no guarantee that the person who's getting open heart surgery comes out alive and again I told you I had I hadn't prayed in maybe a year and a half at this time and I just started writing I just started writing about mom you know I

opened up talking about Mom 4:00 a.m. and I can't sleep Mama you told me to have faith it was 4:00 a.m. in this in this you know Hospital waiting room and I'm writing this and it's just just flowing it's just flowing and I wrote the first half and I was angry wrote the first half I was angry and I went to go talk to the doctor I said How's my mom and he said she made it she's okay the rest is just her recovery you're going to have to be there for her and I remember thinking you know I took my mom for granted I was an ungrateful kid you you know I I I hurt

her I put her through so much stress getting arrested getting into fights getting suspended from school you know the whole nine yards and I remember going to see my mom uh and everyone else is sleeping it's 4:00 a.m. in in the hospital and I walk into the room and she's on like 50,000 different machines and I just grab her hand I hadn't prayed in a year and a half and I just I just made it Dua subh said I said God if you're out there if if you exist just give me my mom give her

health you know let me be a capable son for this woman who has sacrificed everything you know who gave up her luxuries in a new in in a different country to come to a new country didn't know the language had no money and and starved for her kids to have an opportunity let me pay back to this woman and muy in that moment that I Prayed by the grace of God my mom opened her eyes and she looked at me and she looked at me and she said and she could barely speak and she just looked at me and she said

inshallah and I cried like I just cried and I thought about how good God is that I could speak to my mom there's people who don't have their parents and God gave me this moment to just see my mom open her eyes and speak to me and she spoke the word of God to me and I remember I I sat there and I was looking at what I had written and it was so negative that first half I was so angry and I started writing again and this time when I started writing I thought about love I thought about the moment that I just experiened and there

was this beautiful letter from God that just came to me and it was so powerful and it just flowed so naturally I just didn't even feel like I was writing it you know it just it just came