Maturing Along The Way

[Music] All right. foreign.

All right. So, here we are again. I'm just dropping a quick message uh whilst you guys are tuning in just to let my Discord community know that um All

right. All right. Yes. Salam. All right. Allah. Allah. So Allahbar we here we are. I just want to before anything say Shukran once again. I'd been Yeah.

I mean, those of you that tuned in for my brief uh live stream last week will probably be aware that I'd had a bit of equipment issues and um and did have some uh kind, loving uh brothers who did step in and help assist with that.

and uh from amongst them uh even after that the issues I had again with technology and these this equipment and you know getting it to work and then so shukran to Harris as well Allah bless you uh that's Harris from I believe uh the the Detroit area and shukran once again all your support too in uh getting this uh going right?

Yeah, you know, I thought look, let's tune in, share some thoughts. It's with the theme of maturing, you know, maturing along the way. It's been two years now that my mother passed away and and that was two years from yesterday and you know it I was just reflecting and

thinking as we do that how life shapes us, governs us, regulates us that there is this dynamism between us and this configuration out here this kind of game that is that play as Allah says that this this is but a game that's what it is and I guess there's rules of engagement and you just journeying through

it and how we develop, how we mature as people. It's yeah, you know, it's quite a a spectacle. Allah Allah, you know, as um there's a there's a a couple that

Yeah, it's that you know the company of rose gardens and all of this is is amazing but life is that which is spent amongst the thorns.

that has really something to it. Yeah. And I was speaking with um what's this? So I was speaking with some friends just about um life in general and how we reflect on

things. Islam as a phenomenon in the west and in the world. How is it progressing? How is it developing, manifesting? What have we learned along the way? you know, really makes us think and and I suppose the age of the age and stage of life which we're at, I think once a person reaches their 40s and goes beyond that, you know, and it doesn't have to

be this way, but it often is that whether they like it or not, they will begin to encounter things like grief, that they will um you know that people they know will start to pass away. And that doesn't mean that people didn't pass away before but for many people by that stage once they've gone beyond that kind of uh watershed of life if you like this boundary that just by the age that they're in that those a generation older

than them or two will now be just by the sunnah of life many of may pass away or they'll hear of this more often that such and such, you know, has lost somebody, such and such has lost somebody. Yeah. And what that does to an individual as well, how it redefineses the the resolution of life that you know.

Yeah. And that's not to cast a I'm not painting that with a grim brush in trying to say that that's um you know it's it's all doom and gloom. I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is that life will now be different and in that difference is a maturity.

This somebody just said the my granddad just passed away. just visited him in the hospital, right? May Allah bless his afterlife. Grant him and grant your family ease. This is a it's it's almost a cycle of life in that sense.

You know, it's a it's an inevitable pattern, but it starts to hit people and especially and it doesn't have to be after a certain age, but along the way you see so many other things. You start to view things which are important, things which maybe you haven't developed, maybe other people haven't.

You know, we were talking about we were speaking of maturing. It's interesting that many people, you could take something like take relationships as an example. Many people they will go through life and you see when it comes to we are fundamentally a kind of um monkey see monkey do people and creatures.

That's what we are you know we we mimic behavior that there is this um minesis you know this uh mimemetic behavior going on that we are copying all the time. So you could take things like work the professional environment. So we're at work and there is somebody who is let's say management or your team leaders or other people around you.

They're very professional. They set a code of conduct, a you know number of rules that must be followed, a dress code, a a kind of not just an attire and an attitude that when you're there and you mimic this. So when you're in that environment, you're, you know, you're responding, you're speaking in a certain way.

You know, you're on the phone. Uh you you have certain nicities, but just some professionalism to you that you are bringing to the table. You're in meetings, the way you speak, the way you sit down, set things, open your agenda. This is all learned behavior. We see it.

You know that monkey see monkey do. And then obviously we build on things. Now you take something as simple as relationships. Your engagement with somebody in a relationship dynamic. Where would where would we have seen that to mimic it?

And to many people, they've only seen it growing up as kids with their own parents. And you know, in many cases, not in all, but in many, that's been a disaster. You know, that's a terrible disaster that And people never I I guess some people do but many people they don't know how to like how do you reeregulate that cuz you need to be around people behaving in a way where

you're going to you're going to perceive then internalize. You know it's to that interiorization of what you see outside. How is that? So maybe TV movies but then the problem with movies and TV is that it's not you know it's so crafted that it's difficult to sometimes mirror because and people do mirror that as well and that's and that that's good as well that's not I'm not saying that that's a good thing because you might see exemplary or great dynamics how

people handle things how people behave attitude noral disposition and you might finetune yours based on that. But I think my general appraisal is that it's not as easy doing it by just watching movies because they're so controlled that you don't see it in a natural setting.

And yeah, and then people will go through their lives like they might be professionals, business, you know, they might be CEOs, they might be people that have set up um companies and been successful and maybe gone through a whole journey, decades and decades. You know, we were speaking today about somebody who was in their 50s and just this particular situation and relationships were a nightmare, you know, a nightmare like absolute and just and this isn't about

who which you know who was at fault necessarily, but it's just that it's a disaster. And even their engagement like how they look, speak maybe in a different setting they can be professional but in that setting it's just a disaster. And it's crazy that how you know we've not like people it's difficult that we model behavior.

Life does throw things at us that and sometimes tragedies it throws at us which in one way is an opportunity to reeregulate to go into your settings to to kind of like adjust your dynamic your engagement with life. I gave an example. I said to my friend we were talking about this.

I said, you know, I was witnessing just the other day somebody they in a close relationship dynamic something as simple and this is what I mean the subtleties of maturing in life. They were there was some family setting and people are about to let's say do something I think say get some they're about to eat or something but this particular person just before just whilst doing that thinks I know I'm going to all

adults all grown full I don't mean like teens or something I mean people nearing maybe middleage that kind of stuff so the person is about to do something like get a uh a cup of tea or a cup of coffee, but there's food being set out. So, the other couple in the dynamic finds that like a bit odd and then instead of just maybe saying, "Oh, we're about says that why why are you drinking tea for why are you going to make a cup of

coffee and tea for? who just got this set. And I'm just observing this, you know, and I'm thinking like that that would explain, you know, the you see, you wouldn't talk to a stranger like that. Like imagine you re engineer that scenario and there is this stranger or a guest.

Let's say a guest is there and you're about to eat, but this person suddenly does something else unexpected like in this scenario, makes a cup of tea or a coffee or something. So, you probably engage that by saying, "Ah, you know, we've put tea on as well. Would you like a a coffee?" But it's interesting, the closer the relationship, the more critically parental style of engagement, you know, this what are you do?

Why are you doing that? And you can tell that these people haven't matured in that throughout their lives that it's Yeah. But this plays out in all cuz relationships you could think well I read somewhere that most people are probably at a an age 12 when it comes to emotional um intelligence or emotional age if we want to call it age.

Sometimes the term emotional intelligence some psychologists don't like that term. Wow, I have to be trying out this matcha tea. So yeah, and you think my point of saying this is at what stage do we mature in life? You know what and or do do we just re go right through this dunya never truly maturing?

And I feel that many people, let's say my generation of people, that doesn't have to just be generation X, but it could be. What I mean by that is it could what I mean by my generation of people is those people whose parents weren't born in this country, but they're born in this country. So, we've kind of been brought up and raised whether you're younger or older or whatever.

But that that's what I mean that so the the appearance our parents have had a completely different cultural upbringing to us that it's wild seeing how crazy like some you know some parents I guess they you know just like I and this isn't and I don't say this in a way to fault them but I say that I think they the amount of just brokenness that resulted from that

engagement and maybe it was because people they're in this country they're new they don't speak the language it's cold it's you know there's a lot of um bullying in that sense racism discrimination the worlds are insular and maybe that resulted in this disconnect between that generation and and the children that grew from that.

And then consequently these people whenever they embark on relationships that's been their imprint. So, and that's not to say now I know this generation has had children even though they've been from my appraisal much more generally loving towards their children who you know many people who've children are grown up adults now but weirdly then they've got their own struggles I guess that that's the thing I'm saying that you know

that life it always has this struggle but where and how we mature along the way Allah and and even with and even I guess with the faith how do we mature where do we mature it really is somewhat heartwarming.

It is heartwarming, not somewhat. It's heartwarming to see many people having these kind of enlightening awakenings that they're breaking free of the shackles of almost hatred and dogma and sectarianism that they'd been spewing for years on end.

And now they're kind of breaking free of it. Maybe at a later rate, maybe because they've experienced life shocking events. Maybe it's just age, maybe it's grief, maybe the death of people, parents, maybe friends, maybe all sorts, you know, maybe it's that they've lost jobs, gone through divorces, lost their children, lost access to their children. Maybe they've, you know, been so much.

Maybe life has just thrown them around like a a roller coaster and they've now. But amidst all that, they've awoken to a softer, a more real and loving interpretation of the faith.

And there's that hadith in Sah Muslim that the um be gentle with the vessels. Yeah. there is uh there is just you know that fragility you're handling this vessel and in some ways the faith is like that that you know you Allah so it just sounds there's something to it in Arabic in the hadith the

um the wives of the prophet and the prophet and some other people they're traveling in a journey. They're on this caravan and unbeknownst to many people nowadays up here. Most things are unbeknownst to many people, you know, it's you know sometimes you see the uh Allah Allah the kind of black and white interpretation people have of the faith and you you almost it amuses you.

Blessed are the naive. blessed. But unbeknownst to many people that in the time of the prophet, the general norm was that when they cut through these journeys like through the deserts, journeys that would take let's say maybe a whole day or a couple of days or it would take it like it was a proper journey. They would go in these block little caravans for safety and convenience and facility.

And what they would do is the they they would sometimes maybe have a group of some camels linked. So let's say this is a lead camel linked with uh one two camels behind that may have a carriage and the women may be on it or sometimes you might put stock on it. A few people. So you've got these almost these units and they would all go in this in this kind of set of units.

one camel leading a few camels and there's so many and they're all leading each other and and these the lead camel the the the guy the the kind of driver of that he was known as the hadi hadi with a ha and that's because he would sing and the whole thing is that so people you see they don't even realize this because People think all these things are haram and all this stuff.

So they would sing that was their job to sing actual sing out poetry. And so in that particular hadith the person is singing so loud he's just this is he's like he's in a frenzy.

So the prophet says to him, he says he he calls him he says says, you know, be gentle with the vessels. You know, you're going to, you know, it's supposed to be like nice soothing background music. You're turning this into it wasn't music, but it was singing. And it's called hadi. This is the famous word hadi in Arabic with ha cuz they would sing and yeah but the yeah hadi the the book of

josew the one leading by singing to the arw to the souls. Yeah, I think in that book speaks of uh there a few references in I think in inwa he speaks about earth being the um the garden of Eden but does he also I think he may also speak about hell freezing over and hell not being eternal you know the view of hypnotamia but in any case the that's not the topic of

discussion. Um, so yeah, it's interesting, huh? So this how we mature in faith as well along the way. It's interesting seeing that more people alhamdulillah are coming to the realization that the age of Aisha was not seven or 9 or 10 but she was probably anything between either

what maybe 19 to 20 21 even some have argued but that kind of age was the age of Aisha when she was married to the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam and more people are now wake you know awakening to that and it's crazy the amount of damage that has been done to Islam and the honor of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam in this frenzy of just you know just uh irrational

bravado that was Yeah. You know, and in that ca in this case, most of the damage that has been done to affecting the honor of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam has been naively done by Muslims who feel they were doing a good thing.

You know, so they people who not intentionally people who intentionally may love the prophet but in this weird irrational incoherent way of going about things. They did more harm towards the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam and his honor.

And a lot of this has been really the as you could see this in this last I don't know 30 years of dawa done by molanas and you know just people mash and street dawa this street dawa has has equally been you know all of these things have just in this regard have been nothing but a disaster to the honor of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam that now a

common Muslim sorry a common non-Muslim his first point of attack would be to attack the honor of the prophet by saying that was your prophet you know he wedded a child that this this disgusting notion is then applied to the honor of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam.

And a lot of that has been because so many of our own people have pushed this narrative so far, you know, loud and proud. So I guess seeing some people mature in that is now you know it's seeing

that it's it's seeing a sense of relief in some some maturity. I guess you know weird is maturing along the way. Also, it's interesting, you know, in the last month alone. I had a number of people approach me and you know we we had some very meaningful conversations and dialogues and these were all people who at one point

were very um involved in the whole you know and almost all of these people have studied Islam to a like almost a scholarly level and a handful so you know few people within the period of just something like one month and and all of them independent of each other they're not they don't I don't think they even know each other but

they had arrived at this point of maturity which was that ah you know this debunking removing the shackles of sectarianism. Um all right. So yeah, what's going on here?

What's some of [Music] these I'm seeing? Watch. All right. Yeah. What's Look at these people in the Allah. You know, I was speaking of that poem. It's actually a fascinating one.

Why don't we find it, bring it up, and go through some of it? Sometimes I feel part of maturing is gaining an appreciation, a deeper appreciation for poetry. Allah Allah and this right.

Okay. Muradabi. this poem of his that I had cited that you know life is that which is spent amongst the thorns because that I guess and it's a state of contentment seeing the beauty it's not a it's not necessarily Dostkian or very doom and gloom and very

it's there's a seeing the silver lining in everything you know sunny side up philosophy Allahbar let's it says He opens his his kind of you know with we it's not but with this line that if it's not spent

amidst beautiful people and here obviously beautiful women then how can life actually be how does one even get through life he's trying this is something about poets as Well, this is why I feel maybe poetry people who've always had a closer close affinity to poetry, they understand certain nuances of dialogue and appreciate them.

Not just understand them, but appreciate them and Javan that even you know with this the the difficult stages of insanity one could say of this world but with your remembrance with you in mind and remember this could be the you could be the universal you it could

be the transcendental you God often poets did that. It could be a specific person. It could be yourself. It could be See, this is what poetry has the power to do. That the difficult stages of insanity, but with you in mind that they everything was still beautiful.

Despite it being maybe horrible, it was still beautiful. That it was always life was always youthful. He says he says from my

perspective by virtue of seeking you. This like I said it could be the divine it could be whoever the object the focus of our search of our yearning he says what is this one world countless worlds we have traversed and gone through Allah that one sounds a bit trippy that's a bit it definitely had a his his portion of DMT tea that day.

So, um this is an interesting one. Allah Allah you know there's some things break the pen on them that's today it would be keyboard break the dam oh that he's about to say

something out of order you know like may pardon me for saying this you know it's like that after kind of becoming like losing hope or not being able to see the

goodma is your kind of thought your but he says that we're not being able to and failing to see the good in in the world in people even your loyalty.

He says that how we even brought that into question of once again this could be one's journey with faith. One could be almost frustratingly expressing this without expressing it.

you know but towards the divine. You see people that you know when life has been so horrible to them then their inner self even questions God.

It could be or it could be to an individual. It could be to the object of the the focus point of romance. It could be to the world. It could be to somebody. See, this is the beauty of Shaur. See, consciousness in Arabic, it's linked to sh to Arabic to poetry.

And then following on from that same trope and motif, he says, that in this journey, this bond, you know, in the in the path of this bond which is a bond of loyalty or it should be at least

that that such a station came in that journey. that such a occurred that we we reached such a station where we even questioned our own loyalty to us that us that as in me to myself that am I just you know like that I'm not even true to me.

Just think about that. That we fell in our own eyes, that we fell from grace. We we were unloyal, untrue, unfaithful to us, let alone the others.

This and this could be from one perspective us as a collective one could say as creation to God Allah that we created gods out of ourselves. You could take it from that collective bringing it down to just me.

Maybe just me that I is questioning me. [Music] [Laughter] He says that that those and here this is metaphor.

This is often a common trope in the Uru poetry that you know lightning and asha is like a nest that the these especially like the eagle or these things they have these lofty nests these ashia that may get struck by lightning. So the lightning and the nest is is a it's a powerful trope often used in and motif in udu poetry.

So he says those you know from which even lightning would be weary of such nests we have passed in this journey Allah you know such and this may be in reference to to phenomenon to happenings things to incidents to victories to you you name it.

Maybe to people even that those that were untouchable. You understand? And it may be as a collective you may see the whole of creation that we were God's favorite creatures. We were salah right down to the individual seeing it as an individual incident or a

person that and then I suppose bringing it to love. He says what what out like speaking of the beauty that high that but such beauty that even love itself was unaware.

What a what an equation that what is even going on here? He says in the path of seeking even such exams and tests we passed by Allah that such realities that none could see except the heart.

[Laughter] Such re such incidents or such realities we passed by as well as in we we engaged with which only the hearts knew. And this is all how one could engage this tie this with life right from the divine to our individual lives to to people to family to work to relationships to accomplishments to

everything. And and look at this Mushak is just a like a fistful of dust and dirt often referred to the human as that's what a human is and and one could say well that's symbolic in the sense that you know it's coming from that's what we amount to or is it that metaphoric symbolically when God created

humans. He created them from just like a the metaphor is a handful of dirt or dust of earth. Or is it that as humans let's say in certain societies as they were cremated that's all they result in a handful of uh ashes and dust. But this symbolically this is referred to as human

that that's often how often this insan this this fistful of dust around him and her [Laughter] the fary word for seven.

The seven heavens orbited around this individual. And one way to see that is from insan as the archetypal insan as a collective. Allah has set that we have elevated

in Allah has given us this but one way of looking at this is that's from the collective insan as they say bringing it right down to the individual But mind over matter that if you can conceive it, if you can believe it, you can achieve it.

How many impossible feats and accomplishments were accomplished by Insan prior to which were deemed impossible. And I mean here the in as a collective and as an individual that how many of you in your own lives against the odds wants you in your in your inbi would speak of this this modality that connects us

to to the unconscious that when you imagine it, you visualize it into existence. As it's been said, that imagination is God in action. That when you synchronize with that emotion as well, not just think it, that when you see it, you visualize it.

That's the electric. And then the magnetism from the heart, the emotion, you believe it that I'm there. I've achieved this. I got that job. I set up that company. I got that relationship. I had this achievement. I attained that I whatever it is, you pictured it and you got it.

And you realize the moment you envisaged it with such clarity and Allah says as you started to see it, it began to unfold by Allah's will became a reality. It became so easy that I often tell people that this sounds crazy when I'm, you know, maybe it does sound crazy to people, but all you have to

alter is your mindset that all of a sudden know that the whole universe is conspiring for you to achieve what you've got your eyes on that you see it and Allah will make it

happen. You see, you do not wish it or will it except Allah, the Lord of the worlds, wills it into reality. I mean you can see that here that that the seven heavens were rotating around this

insah Allah that what is more resolute than the the determination the heart of insan nothing and and I and See harnessing that power is maturity as well.

Embracing it, you know, seeing it in action. And that is that you know it may be beautiful to have the just this the accompanying rose garden.

You know just having that is always you know it may be very beautiful in thought. life is that because there is a beauty in embracing that that rawness of life. Yeah. There's a maturity in that.

And I guess yeah, you know, we we've always You know, we've always been deeply, intricately bound by our bond to

Allah. Allah. Allah. Right. Yeah. I'm going to wrap this up for today. Um right so as always it's been a pleasure right it's been a pleasure I see Allah Allah right till then I will be making now that the equipment is working Allah be praised yeah it is a pleasure to

just be on here And it's a blessing as well honestly to be able to echo my thoughts to connect with you guys to um you know just to just to really have that bond Allah be praised you know you know al guys I'll leave you with that we will yes I will make um some videos.

There's a lot of I don't know what these comments are about. Some question I have an old video on this that somebody's asking about uh marital rape. These things are haram utterly. I have a video. It's old, probably about five years old, six years old, but it has all the discussion showing that to be haram, right?

Take very good care of yourselves, people. If you do want to reach out, you're more than welcome. Instagram, you can follow me on that. Instagram doesn't let me follow people. Now, it says, "Oh, you follow too many people." I'm thinking, "What the hell? How does that even happen? I've got to So, Right. Okay. So you can follow me and reach out to me. Uh you you're more than welcome to also head over to patreon.com/malm through which you can join either my discord uh community which I am uh reshaping uh that and that's where you can also

book the one-to-one consultations. Those people who need to discuss things in depth that's where you head over and book that. patreon.com/m Allah bless you all. Take very good care of yourselves. The office.