Valentines & Relationship | Mufti Abu Layth

See people, yep, so Valentine has passed. You know, I think I should say a few words about Valentine's. Now that it's passed. Uh for all the wounded souls that are there like Or in the words of Meer where he says, "Meer, talwar chalti heh toh chaleh." That Meer, if you know, if a sword is to strike, let it strike.

That Meer, talwar chalti heh toh chaleh. In khush khiramo ki chal aur Khiram is the walk, the alluring the seductive walk of a woman. Uh it's called khiram, khush khiram. That what this And he says, "In khush khiramo ki chal aur He says that the way they walk, this is something you you're you're talking to me about the striking of a sword.

What is that? He's saying, "This is where a person meets their fatality." Wah, wah, Meer Ji, wah, wah. So, yeah, but I was going to say actually about uh about Valentine's. You know, I think I've said this stuff before to be fair that look, this it's not these things are not haram as far as the harim is concerned of the Sharia.

But, one must always, you know, keep it real in life. You know, because these things the problem today and this is really a modern phenomenon. And I guess in some ways this advice that I'm sharing now is maybe for people who are I mean it's for anyone, but you know, especially people who maybe freshly embarking upon a relationship that you see this day and age is recent and it's of

recent this is a very recent phenomenon that everything life's measure has become based simply on the on relationships. That is how a person becomes how they identify themselves, how what their worth is almost in life is now it hinges on relationships.

And what I would seriously say to people is that look, don't fall victim to this kind of a this kind of a spiraling rabbit hole. That don't even when it look, these things are all good. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with relationships. Of course, these things are good.

They they great in their own right, but a person should always maintain their own sense of identity. Their individual sense of purpose. Don't let these things um you know, beguile you to the sense that you lose that because you know, ultimately you are always you.

You are not I know there's this thing of becoming a joint identity, but a person is always themselves. And and this is why I think and I say this because in this day and age, sometimes relationships are very short-lived compared to generations ago. Because people today, you know, it's all about that being in that elated sense elated sense of um love and and and that is an emotion and emotions by their very nature subside.

So, you know, when a person finds it if they find themselves at a low or if they find themselves out of a relationship, they should not be in such a way that their life becomes unbearable. You understand? So, this is why I'm saying that these things are good, they they're great, but always maintain a sense of self-purpose.

You know, be You are an individual. Keep your own goals. Keep your own journey developing as well. That's um you know, I I that that that that's some words that I feel because you know, you see how devastated people become. And also, don't buy into the general hype of cuz a lot of people on things like, you know, these Valentine's Day and this kind of stuff, what it does is it also depresses a lot of people.

Because you see, we are social creatures. We measure ourselves by in relation to others around us. So, I see how am I doing in life? It's based on how other people are doing. So, uh and and and you could see that in in items like having a mobile phone.

You know, you would you could love your phone, but if a new version came out, it's only when other people start purchasing that version, so they start going around with a different version now, that you will feel lacking. You will feel a sense of damn, you know, like I've lost out.

Because we see ourselves in relation to others that al-insan madaniyun bi tab'i, that you know, we are social creatures. So, these kind of events depress a lot of people as well. So, it is a shame and really in all honesty, it is just a commercial exploitation package. Really aimed at women and that's the the truth of it, you Men, in all honesty, couldn't care less.

It's I mean, it's true, you know, I was hearing somewhere. You'd never see a man get excited about these things. Oh, it's Valentine's. No way. It's it's all really just aimed at women and about consumerism and what the money that they can spend and I'm not saying that the thing in and of itself is forbidden or haram.

It's not. And I'm not even saying it's a bad thing. It doesn't have to be. It could just be a fine little thing, but not to get obsessed over these. They don't really mean that much in life. Okay, so