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Gender Differences? - Journeying Through Grief - #3MinuteThoughts | Mufti Abu Layth

muftis assalamu alaikum assalamualaikum salaam salaams wa alaykum as-salam peace greeting

video · 3:57 · 7,900 views · 20 Jul 2023 · Open on YouTube

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Transcript

machineauto-transcribed, may contain errors · source: youtube auto · click a time to seek · dotted terms open the glossary
0:00

As-salamu alaykum, folks. I'd like to share with you an observation and and ask you whether you feel that there's some truth or to that or it resonates with your experience. Men and women, a gender is there a perceived gender difference

0:34

in the reaction or their a I don't know if ability, but their their being present with a loved one going through palliative care, a terminal illness. See, I found that many women, and I'm I'm not saying this has to be everyone, but they bring a formidable strength

1:08

to an unwavering um ability to be present. And men who may equally be present, but struggle with uh just the situation, and that's not to say that women are not struggling.

1:38

But I wondered, is this down to the hardwiring that men their instinctive primary knee-jerk reaction is to protect, to provide, to problem-solve. And it's not to say women don't do those things, but a primary knee-jerk instinct reaction and women a knee-jerk instinctive reaction is to to nurture, to care for, to provide affection.

2:16

And it's not to say men don't do those things, but at a primary knee-jerk response level. So, I hear as well from people that many men would struggle to sometimes be present in a particular room. And women would do it with unwavering valor and strength. And And I thought and I experienced this personally as well.

2:41

I saw it with my sisters and me, my brothers. I Is it that in that situation, we can't fix it. And we can't protect them. And we can't provide a solution or safety from what they're experiencing.

3:09

So, at a the immediate instinct, we there's a sense of failure. Like we failed, we can't fix it. And for women that that that the the ability to provide that care just kicks right in.

3:34

This was I'm not sure whether this is holds much truth, but it's an observation. And when I spoke to people, I I found it to be quite true for them as well. I wonder what your thoughts are on this. May Allah make it easy for each and all that go through this. Amen. Salam alaykum.

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Mufti Abu Layth Archive, auto-transcribed, may contain errors. https://muftiabulayth.org/r/j4nc2shstx0/ (accessed 1 November 2026)

APA 7 
Mufti Abu Layth. (2023, July 20). Gender Differences? - Journeying Through Grief - #3MinuteThoughts | Mufti Abu Layth [Video, auto-transcribed, may contain errors]. Mufti Abu Layth Archive. Retrieved November 1, 2026, from https://muftiabulayth.org/r/j4nc2shstx0/
Chicago author-date 
Mufti Abu Layth. 2023. "Gender Differences? - Journeying Through Grief - #3MinuteThoughts | Mufti Abu Layth." Video, auto-transcribed, may contain errors. Mufti Abu Layth Archive. Recorded July 20, 2023. Accessed November 1, 2026. https://muftiabulayth.org/r/j4nc2shstx0/
BibTeX 
@misc{abulayth-j4NC2SHStX0,
  author = {Mufti Abu Layth},
  title = {{Gender Differences? - Journeying Through Grief - \#3MinuteThoughts | Mufti Abu Layth}},
  year = {2023},
  month = {7},
  date = {2023-07-20},
  howpublished = {\url{https://muftiabulayth.org/r/j4nc2shstx0/}},
  url = {https://muftiabulayth.org/r/j4nc2shstx0/},
  organization = {Mufti Abu Layth Archive},
  urldate = {2026-11-01},
  note = {Auto-transcribed, may contain errors}
}