Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying | Mufti Abu Layth

there was a study right if i just bring this up let me just bring that back up oh it's frozen right in light of that i wanted us to to understand yeah on life that was done by brony we and it's something very popular that many of us have uh have already seen or read about in different articles it's been covered extensively so here it is and it ties in exactly perfectly

with with what we're taking a look at brony where what she had done she is an author and a writer who worked spent many years of her life in palliative care working with those people who were about to pass away and so they've got limited time often suffering from terminal illnesses and what she did is she went around having conversations with these people those who had anything from 12 weeks to just a couple of days left to live and she discussed with them what they at

this stage this final frontier you know before the lifting of the final veil what they regretted about life and wallahi in this is such a profound an abra for us all so she then summarizes them into the top five and

right so now this is five working down in descending order i wish that i had let myself be happier you see now that's a summary of it the so-called comfort or familiarity overflowed into their emotions as well as their physical lives fear of change had them pretending to others and to themselves that they were content when deep down within they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again allah

don't ever let people tell you that you laugh too much don't ever have people rob you of those moments of silliness be seized the opportunity to smile to be happy

this came as the fifth she that this was in descending order she had compiled them and this it really they they ring true to so many of us number four i wish i had stayed in touch with my friends that often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years

there were many deep regrets about not giving friendship the time and effort that they deserved everyone misses their friends when they are dying wow you know life saving when he was asked about the joys of life and he said i sum it into three and one of the three that he puts is muhammad and hereby he means i think in another narration

that just the company and conversing with friends it truly is a joy in this place we call life allah and then number three out of these top five

i wish i'd had the courage uh sorry i wish i'd had the courage to express my feelings many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others as a result they settled for a existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming many developed illnesses related to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result you see within us we all have that experience that we all have this drive

this yearning that is the it is almost the rule trying to fledge and give drive to that but people suppress throughout this life just to appease people just to you know fit in with a little crowd or maybe somebody wanted to do something but just because maybe his parents he thought they um he or she thought they wouldn't like it maybe somebody peer pressure they thought their friends wouldn't like it their spouse maybe their children i don't know maybe

just they just thought people without even taking people into consideration um this it is such a such a thought i don't know why this keeps there is number two ah this is there is

i wish i hadn't worked so hard wow this came from every male patient that i nursed they missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship women also spoke of this regret but as most were from an older generation many of the female patients had had not been breadwinners all of the men i nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence allah i wish

i hadn't worked so hard that is so true and teleki that's that's the one shukran shukran absolutely i was referring to that and teleki that's the potentiality that can be actualized which aristotle speaks of so you see look at this and don't confuse this with achieving your dreams because sometimes you have to you have to deep dive you have to be submerged in

your passion to achieve it somebody may think you know i i want to write i want to write a book somebody may think i want to write poetry i want to do art i want to create art somebody may think i want to climb mount everest this is my passion in life somebody may have a startup idea a business and they want to run that somebody probably runs a restaurant or they they do these things in life will by their nature consume you to an extent and that is not what this is talking about because that is a passion that a person is doing

and it will there will be a stage where it has to consume you but there is a balance and many people in life they don't it's not that they were consumed by passion they weren't consumed by these years where they which they regret these years that they say i wish i didn't work so hard or not years that they spent climbing mount everest and doing these kind of things these years were drowned in an ocean of meaningless

monotony that's what they were it was just nothingness it was nine to five putting food on the table but getting lost in the rut and that is important to put food on it is a great accomplishment you know may allah bless all these people that try that work hard but there was it's the mindset missing out on those little moments playing with their children

even a little being silly with them choking laughing even going for a walk it doesn't have to see things don't have to be so it's not an all-or-nothing zero-sum game it's not that well i haven't got money otherwise i'd be in disneyland or with my children but because i haven't got that we don't do anything you see it's not the it's not the materials it's the connection

it's the experience what you absorb so i wish i hadn't worked so hard that is honestly something that you and i could see that written on the epitaph of so many people on their tombstones and the most bringing it to number one

i wish i'd had the courage to live a life true to myself not the life others expected from me this was the most common regret of all when people realize that their life is almost over and they look back clearly on it it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled most people had not honored even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made or not made health brings a freedom very few realize

until they no longer have it allah see this this is why i thought it's so important to bring this to share this we can relate you know it's not about the quantity of life it's not about the number the hours the the counting of the moments it's about the moment and how much quality it has in it

that i wish i'd lived a life more true to myself and seriously we especially when that's coming from people in palliative care it hits so hard as you can imagine