Realistic Marriage Advice Including Marrying Without A Wali -Mufti Abu Layth

just one if a sisters worry is abusive how does she proceeded to get married if a sister's woolly what does that mean also her the person that's going to marry in a Roth is abusive well the you see I don't believe a woolly is necessary okay there isn't a single hadith that is categorically sahi that a woman requires a woolly to get married and that is the teaching of imam abu hanifa that is also according to some understandings the

teaching of Imam Malik that is what I go by that there is nothing so he to do with they must be a wali and this was simply a condition of perfection it's what even a ruched says this is a shirt or shirt to Kemal not sure to say her not a condition of validity right the line of the Obon never laughed so much the line of the ovens I know who was the line oh yes sir I'm Tony Gonzalez he just gave so many

dad's a heart attack right now no I don't think look you know this wali thing about getting married avoidy is not somebody actually seriously calling me what the hell is right so this thing about Wally having you see do you need a woolly to get married I don't believe you do that said let me add to that because somebody's that's a useful point look you've given people a heart attack either

I don't intend to give them a heart attack that's not my objective but we need to kind of ease up we need to reach older everybody needs to be a bit more responsible I think the parents too there have been several occasions where it's only a about you see it's very obvious that it's simply about you know caste and you must marry one of our relatives Yeah right like the intelligent DNA is locked

in me in that gene pool is just like a gene pool of inbreds [Laughter] right so this so this thing that you must marry a relative or you must marry this a lot of this still goes on here in the UK anyway and I think that nonsensical and people stop relationships from occurring just based on that sometimes based on race sometimes just based on other things so I think that element is there on the other on the other hand or the flipside

is that I think girls too and guys but perhaps more so sometimes to guild I don't know if that's coming across sexist but I think they do need to be sensible as well and kind of see sometimes they are being misled and they are being kind of you know just so you'll see cases where somebody will for example and these are cases I've actually heard of that for example a person will insist that I want to marry

this guy the family are concerned because the guy is not even doesn't even have a visa to live in this country he's just here as a let's say a student now they're pretty certain he's only doing this to get a visa and to get a passport now the girl you see what I'm trying to say is we gotta be sometimes real in this world okay that probably I don't know intentions but most likely that may be pretty much the case that may be right that sounds pretty much how the world would now I'm not saying that that hat means

that has to be wrong and just because somebody wants a visa they have to be a bad person I'm not saying that but what I am saying is as long as any relationship you any relationship that you embark on do so willfully but also with with insight that as long as you know that then you take the risks yourself in a with knowledge you are conscientious of the risks that you are taking like if you know that risk like

you think look yeah look I accept this person is here the world does work as based on opportunism every you know almost everybody is an opportunist to some extent now that's no different one could argue that look you only like people only likes they could say well well you know this man for example only wants to marry that woman just because she happens to be so beautiful if she wasn't so beautiful you think he would be marrying her and that is true in most cases I'm sure that that's so everybody is in it for themselves for something that's there's no denying that

but as long as people are aware now so in this kind of a case that let's say the guy is only here as a you know student he's on some student visa his visa is about to expire and he tells this girl oh my god I'm so madly in love with you this so conveniently in love with you just as my visa is about to expire my love has intensified so now he says look I wanna I want to marry you I

want to stay here with you so her family are rightly concerned I mean I would be concerned if somebody that was related to me or somebody I knew let's say dearly that was in such a situation where they say now I found the love of my life has one week left on his visa I would say oh how are the convenient so now look because we know how the world works everybody knows how the world works to some extent so okay now if the girl really wants to do something like that wants to take that

risk I mean you can understand why the parents would be against it you can understand that but if she still wants to I would say she has the free will I'm free choice to do so but she should do so knowing the risks so let's say he does disappear one year down the line once he's got his visa at least she did took that risk knowing the risk like she said well okay I you know there was a chance there was a risk that that might happen and it did so as opposed to her being just so

immersed in let's say in just this lovey-dovey kind of bubble and everything with Bollywood songs just playing and everything in slow motion so Jade a car so it's all these she's in some field and Shahrukh Khan is there doing the pose and if that's what she's thinking then she might be in for a very disturbing time so I can so the parents concerns are justified okay they are justified on several occasions on some

occasions they're not so on some occasions like I said the parents are objecting to just stupid things they're just objecting to things like you know oh he's not from this cast or he's not you know you know I don't know like I don't like his his dad but like you know I don't know just stupid stuff oh we want you to marry just in the family or we want this and sometimes they have decent concerns like how is he gonna actually provide for the family and I think girls and guys need to think about that before you get married look I

know you know people say all I need is love and that's I'm sure that's true for a few hours or or a whole day and a night and then after that and then after after so many there's only so many sessions of I mean so many episodes of romance and love after which a person gets hungry and they think right I need

to in rom-com said a few minutes later the narrator says precisely 1 minute and 33 seconds later he's like well oh that was fun was right so there's only so much until a person and then hunger kicks in and a person you know you've got to eat and you've got to live and you need shelter and you need amenities in life and you need these things so

look don't be so don't be so dramatic on this whole you know this lovey-dovey thing because people can get into that by all means by all means do their romance you know I'm not I'm not against romance but what I'm saying is be pragmatic as well and practical and be realists as well that look okay if I do get married how are we gonna live what is the quality of living because I'm telling you you know people say money

does not buy happiness people say that arguably arguably that may be true that mayor key emphasis me arguably that may be true but I tell you poverty sure as hell doesn't you know if money doesn't buy happiness poverty sure as hell definitely doesn't buy and I'd rather be unhappy and rich

then unhappy and poor she is to that people so my point is that look trust me problems because I've heard of so many stories and I say stories but they're real relationships that have gone out the window because of financial difficulties that head of the circumstances being different that maybe

things would have been different you know if people didn't have to fight over you know not having money to pay the bills or not being able to buy certain foods or not being able to then maybe they true it doesn't mean that they wouldn't have fought over anything else you may fight over other things and you probably will fight over other things people will annoy each other just as much I'm sure but at least it there's a greater chance I'm just saying that because these things you see just remember the hierarchy of needs people okay

Maslow's hierarchy of needs just remember that and that's all I'm saying so my advice is that think these things through people just think I'm through and to guilt as well so girls who are embarking on relationships and they think they found the love of their life right men are dogs oh I'll I'll just admit to that and tell you that that is the truth okay so I'm not saying I'm not saying that the guy you found is a dog but probably so just

brace yourself make sure everything is I know the risks and then embark upon your journey embark upon your journey yes II like raises saying rather crying and Mercedes than on a bike hell yeah right so what else what else people