Narcissistic Parents Childhood Trauma & Healing | Mufti Abu Layth

mufti the prophet said heaven under mother's feet but some of us men grew up with controlling narcissistic mothers this has caused mummy issues yeah okay yeah i mean you see there is a this is a difficult one because and i hope to insha allah do an entire episode on uh parental questions and permutations in one of the coming shows inshallah right so but it is difficult because

many people grew up with very you know with tough love shall we say [Laughter] if love even it can be fitted into that equation and they had a very tough childhood and it's difficult because you know your childhood shapes your future life unless you um

intervene therapeutically and it would require a deep sense of you know further psychodevelopment on this kind of psychodramatic therapy and you know bringing reliving those moments abreaction what they call in psychology and and you'd have to go through this therapeutically and kind of heal those wounds to truly be healed and to kind of just beam your essence how it's meant to be and to

kind of individuate as they might say or to to actualize to reach a higher potential so and the truth is most people can't do that in life they're not that life just gets in the way and then they bury it which may work as well and then let's hope many people it's not been as tragic because for some people their childhood is more tragic than others on the bright side the news is it can be healed you can heal it i definitely had a very tough childhood very incredibly tough and i would say that it had

a so it's you know it really had so many bearings on my development as you know in terms of my persona but i i would say i was very fortunate to have apprehended that and to have therapized and to have treated and healed um if not all definitely you know for the most part also i get that most people won't be able to so it's it's difficult but what i would say that that now brings you

face to face with the question that but you know what about the parents and the relationship because you have all these memories that are hurtful and what i'm going to say is and we will dedicate an episode to this in more detail and dealing with other splinter questions but i would say look just let it go let it go you know that that song what is it the is it the elsa song or let it go and layla was about four she used to always have that played and just let it

go you will find in it your own healing i can tell you that you see many of those people those parents who have been incredibly difficult they don't remember it i guarantee you they don't recall it and in fact ironically they recall things very differently in their memory and you know what this isn't about who's right or wrong some things in life are just worth letting go it's okay you made it thus far and you didn't make it this far to only

come here so you can keep going but jettison lose the baggage it's only slowing you down and you know just let it forgive as difficult as that may seem that's what i would say and sometimes it's not diffic sometimes it's it's not easy to build those bridges but i would say in this episode being brief on this topic if possible do so at some level if you can't then at least

try and lose the baggage and and the resentment and you know just just be that's what i would say may allah make things easy for you it definitely it is a it is a sad state of affairs i've seen especially in the uk a lot of uh i've seen it especially with the pakistanis but i think it's with um the asians generally so even the the indian the uh the bangladeshi i i'm assuming it's kind of across all of these

that the upbringing is quite um it's quite ruthless and i don't know why really because you know the ironies many of those parents had actually quite a decent upbringing [Laughter] so something obviously it was the climate but we'll talk about that uh another time but yeah that's my thoughts that just you know just try and aim for higher uh the the higher ground inshallah