# Does an exclusive boyfriend-girlfriend relationship count as a nikah? *Is an exclusive boyfriend-girlfriend relationship equivalent to nikah?* - URL: https://muftiabulayth.org/r/zs1rln2djss/s/3/ - Date: 2018-03-05 · Kind: question · Transcript tier: machine · Recording: Zina, Marriage and Relationships - Mufti Abu Layth al-Maliki (10:25–13:02) - Status: general teaching - Watch from the start of the segment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zs1rLN2Djss&t=625s - Recording page: https://muftiabulayth.org/r/zs1rln2djss/ **Topics:** The marriage contract; Marriage; Sexual ethics **Question as asked:** When a boyfriend and girlfriend go exclusive with each other and everybody knows and treats them as a couple, would that not fall under nikah in a sense, as people recognising their exclusivity? **Summary (not a quotation; machine-made, unchecked):** Mufti Abu Layth does not endorse the idea but calls it a good question that the ulama should discuss. He says the past had simple marriage, unstigmatised divorce and other accepted outlets, whereas Muslims today have only a culturally dramatised, expensive nikah. **Checked position (checked by two independent reviews, not by the channel):** Mufti Abu Layth holds that in the past marriage was simple, divorce was not stigmatised and other outlets were accepted, so earlier scholars never stressed this topic, whereas Muslims today have only a culturally dramatised and expensive nikah; he leaves the question whether an exclusive relationship amounts to nikah for the ulama to discuss. **Evidence, his words at 12:06:** “this is why they never stressed in the past on this topic what we have today is society has flipped things on its heads” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zs1rLN2Djss&t=726s) ## Longer summary Mufti Abu Layth repeats his wish for an open discussion on what the solution is in our day and age, and relays a question put to him: whether an exclusive boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, recognised by everyone as a couple and attended as such at events, would not in a sense fall under nikah, since people recognise their exclusivity. He calls it a very interesting and good question that he wishes the ulama would acknowledge and bring to the table, but says they will not, and does not himself endorse the equivalence. He then says that the base desires have always existed but that in the past the outlets were never an issue: marriage was simple, divorce was not stigmatised, polygamy was the norm and men were permitted other partners such as concubines, which is why earlier scholars never stressed this topic. Today, he says, society has flipped and become hyper-sexualised while Muslims have only the option of nikah, which has been dramatised by culture, made very expensive and locked in. ## Sources and names cited - nikah - ulama ## Transcript (machine tier, 10:25–13:02) [10:07] the Muslims would like the scholarship would first of all acknowledge that is a problem well started Omar Khouri she animus Island Tushar Rovner right so people started omar doing some awesome research from the states with legends like dr. sherman jackson so right there in the house so you can reach out to him inshallah right so yeah so i wish people would kind of have an open and honest kind of discussion on this and say that look in our day and age what is the solution because if we're going to be honest somebody asked a question that look a girlfriend and boyfriend [10:46] situation is that not equivalent to Anika that when a girlfriend and a boyfriend go Mitra go exclusive with each other everybody knows that they're a couple everybody they attend events as a couple they do all these things as a couple would that not become full under Amica in a sense as in people recognizing their exclusivity and I said look I think that is a very interesting and good question I wish that the orlimar today would kind of acknowledge and embrace these things and start to kind of like bring them onto the table [11:26] but the problem is they won't can someone volunteer to be a concubine why not what was that famous line that that guy said about the ha ha damn I forgot now that the famous one about half I got I forgot but anyway so the you see the base desires have always been there but there's been huge one thing in the past is that the outlets were never an issue [12:06] so in the past marriage was not an issue it was very simply done divorce was not an issue if you're having an issue you just went your own ways marrying divorce was not stigmatized polygamy was the norm it was accepted that men had sexual kind of other partners men were allowed to have many for example other sexual partners as an example I'm giving now these like concubines and things like this in the past I'm speaking about now what I'm trying to say is that this is why they never stressed in the past on this topic what we have today is society has flipped things on its heads or [12:44] societies become hyper sexualized and Muslims just have this option of Mecca which is highly dramatized with culture and then made into a very expensive event and then locked into so it's become problematic so anyway I mean that's I I want to go on to a different topic which there's a program which I didn't really watch completely yet and I've got to watch about Muslim women in the UK have you seen the hotties out there come ## Cite Mufti Abu Layth Archive, segment Zs1rLN2Djss/s/3. https://muftiabulayth.org/r/zs1rln2djss/s/3/ Not a fatwa: these answers were given to specific people at specific times. Ask a qualified scholar about your own situation.