# How can I help someone stop drinking without pushing them away?

*Helping someone stop drinking: Abu Hanifa and his neighbour*

- URL: https://muftiabulayth.org/r/qbvwbhoizw4/s/10/
- Date: 2016-12-21 · Kind: question · Transcript tier: machine · Recording: Islam in the 21st Century | Mufti Abu Layth | Ha Meem Foundation (1:02:22–1:12:42)
- Status: general teaching
- Watch from the start of the segment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBvWBHOIzW4&t=3742s
- Recording page: https://muftiabulayth.org/r/qbvwbhoizw4/

**Topics:** Intoxicants and substances; Character and virtue

**Question as asked:** How do you convince someone to abstain from drinking in a positive way? What is the standing of a person who offers prayers, does umrah and Hajj, but engages in drinking?

**Summary (not a quotation; machine-made, unchecked):** Drinking is unacceptable, but like any addiction it needs wisdom: offer an alternative and help with the person's problems, as Abu Hanifa did with his drinking neighbour.

**Checked position (checked by two independent reviews, not by the channel):** Mufti Abu Layth says that with someone who drinks there has to be wisdom and encouragement to good, giving them an alternative rather than only telling them to stop.

**Evidence, his words at 1:08:52:** “there has to be wisdom there has to be more than wisdom encouragement to good don't focus on the bad give people an alternative” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBvWBHOIzW4&t=4132s)

## Longer summary

A written question asks how to convince someone to stop drinking in a positive way, and about the standing of someone who prays and performs umrah and Hajj but drinks. After a joke, Mufti Abu Layth says drinking is unacceptable from an Islamic viewpoint, but that like any addiction it is hard to leave and people relapse. He tells the story of Abu Hanifa's neighbour, a young man who drank and sang that they had let someone like him go to waste: Abu Hanifa never confronted him, but when the man was arrested Abu Hanifa went to the magistrate to have him released and asked him 'did we let you go to waste?', and the man turned his life around. Mufti says there must be wisdom and encouragement to good, giving people an alternative and helping with the problems behind their drinking rather than telling them off, which only makes one feel self-righteous, citing a verse of Akbar Allahabadi [?], and says he has met people immersed in sin who were more generous at heart than some practising people.

## Sources and names cited

- alcohol (khamr)
- Abu Hanifa
- report: whoever of you sees an evil let him change it with his hand
- al-amr bil-ma'ruf wa al-nahy an al-munkar (commanding good and forbidding evil)
- Akbar Allahabadi [?]

## Transcript (machine tier, 1:02:22–1:12:42)

[1:02:21] about how do you convince someone to abstain from drinking in a positive way just go have a drink with them say you can drink but you got to pay for mine it's not what is the standing of a person who who who offers prayers yeah prayers does oh does oh oh okay does umah and Hajj but engages in obsene drinking drinking oh it's just about drinking [Laughter]

[1:03:05] so the thing is that see drink I mean you see they it is obviously from an Islamic Viewpoint it's unacceptable but it's not about oh I said it but it's not about you see people Haven they found themselves in search situations where if they drink it it is sometimes difficult for people to leave it and that's the same with any type of addiction this is why you know may Allah preserve everybody from falling into any type of addiction because the nature of addictions and these things is is

[1:03:43] difficult to kind of complete people relapse you've heard of the the poet he says you know that's the thing that that we we've left this drinking but still now and then you go to you got to have a little he says to keep the edge off but the thing is that you see it comes back to how do you focus and let me tell you you know you ask about drinking let me tell you an example they say Imam Abu hanif's neighbor used to be a drunker or somebody that would often

[1:04:23] drink often and he was a young guy talented one of those you know when you know one of those people that just feels they just kind of just gutted with the world ah this world is so everybody you know it's just full of you like a bit of like if since you knowb a bit of gb's mentality the poet you know just all the world is all you know these people so he had a bit of that and this guy used to always be there singing himself used to sing and drink and abif used to go in and obviously they just a a little nod no never us to share any drinks or anything he never used to so much he never used to actually like Imam Abu hanifah so much not in the sense of a personal thing but because he saw him as

[1:05:02] a man of religion and and he kind of felt everybody's just full of bigotry and everybody so the Hypocrites and this this and he used to sing this thing that they wasted me that they let somebody like me go to waste you know hash confidence you know somebody like me go to waste he goes they wasted me like they wanted to just send me to a battle or something you know you go fill this Gap and get killed basically like basically they're just trying to use me like me I'm I'm it's me and he's saying they

[1:05:42] wasted me that's how bad this D is like I don't want anything to do with just leave me to my drink you know one of those now one day abif comes home and it's been a day or two when he realizes you know I haven't seen him drinking can't be as they call it dry day so why is he not drinking where is he it's been about 2 three days he thinks I haven't seen him he's always sitting out here drinking not drinking but look at the wisdom up until now has Im abif gone up to him pulled the bottle out of his

[1:06:20] hand whoever saw an evil must change it with his hand all right here comes the hand wait for it did he do any of this no I just silent just respectful obviously he didn't like him but fine one IM abif gets curious where is he he he asks anyway he asks the next day you know I haven't seen this guy around where's that young guy the the drunk where is he said oh don't you know he got arrested I've locked him up in a Cell seriously says what so IM hanif turns up to bail him

[1:06:58] out Allah look at look IM Abu hanifah turns up and the person's like you know because at that time the the type of police system that we have was kind the way you have magistrates today the magistrates the local magistrate would usually be Scholars they were the kadis usually I mean they were always at that time definitely they always were so all the kadis come on you would know the heavy weights and these are small time kadis they're not like major major you know IM Abu hanifa has been asked to be the Supreme judge of the entire Muslim world and he's turned it down so he's on a heavyweight level so all of a sudden there's this low time you know IM

[1:07:37] Abu hanifah turns up to his place he's like what the hell IM abif yeah it's like it's like uh you know we're mentioning that you get one of these celebrities just turns up just to you you say go call somebody goes called Shan you think what the hell you know it's like can you imagine the shock you would have that the person think IM abif how can I help you he says listen I've I need some of your help says says I need you to let somebody go says who says that person him the hell thought you going to ask

[1:08:16] for something significant this guy this drunker what the hell yeah take him is that it says yeah so the person that person is shocked that Abu hanifah has come for me so when he comes out he looks at IM Abu hanifah and IM Abu hanifah says to him he says that did we let you go to waste they say that he was so struck with this this type of this this this gesture of IM abif that he changed

[1:08:52] and turned his life around good character people it takes people it it takes messages so far that you can't imagine beyond your imagination so I mean these things about drinking I would say look it's not good but you know we're in an age where things ain't good I'm not tolerate I'm not trying to say it's fine to go drinking to go doing these type of things what I'm trying to say is there has to be wisdom there has to be more than wisdom encouragement to good don't focus on the bad give people an alternative see you know people are so

[1:09:30] quick to say stop doing this but then the person will say okay so what should I do you if I don't drink what should I do it's true you haven't given them an alternative you're just telling them stop doing what you're doing can't what should I do in its place well just stop it pray nothing like like to think like I'm feeling okay PR enough but this is the type of mentality people have that oh just stop doing it pray enough you like I don't want to do that what the hell who wants to do that

[1:10:09] you know this is so people ain't being real being real is like just addressing it that look okay this is unfortunate the person's probably got problems probably got issues they're running away from just like every one of us is you know to them drink is the savior maybe you can share problems with them you know you can not your problems you just give them your problems I was told to share my problems but maybe we can help them out so sometimes it's surprising you see we're quick to do this you know what's that um Akbar where he says

[1:10:48] um uh he he has a very interesting because he's been criticized on this and and he says but here's this thing where he says is oh Dam but he ends it by saying that they say that you know he begins by saying that everybody has a problem that why does he kind of

[1:11:23] drink but they don't seem to ask that do do you have anything to eat or do you like what are your problems like what's leading you to this nobody like imagine somebody's debt ridden let's just say or they struggling financially or they they're going through some turmoil they and they're drinking people are stop drinking stop drinking stop drinking nobody's thinking you know but the guy's got problems how about I help out with some problems because that's obviously a burden on you but just telling them off it makes you self-righteous makes you feel good about yourself oh at least I don't drink okay you don't drink but you you know you never know maybe the person in some ways does much

[1:12:00] more I've actually personally encountered sometimes people who have who are immersed in what people would say sins and all these in that type of life to be much more generous at heart that you know when it comes to when you if you ever are in need or if you see people in need you see those people open their hearts and give and I've seen sometimes unfortunately it's the people of the of of the religion that people who are practicing that sometimes so stuff reserves them right they in this trouble they don't pray they don't do this they don't you know justifications with the thing but yeah it's a good question though it's a good

[1:12:38] question

## Cite

Mufti Abu Layth Archive, segment QBvWBHOIzW4/s/10. https://muftiabulayth.org/r/qbvwbhoizw4/s/10/

Not a fatwa: these answers were given to specific people at specific times. Ask a qualified scholar about your own situation.