# Are many people's frustrations really about unmet sexual needs?

*Unmet sexual needs, Freud, and how institutional religion views sex*

- URL: https://muftiabulayth.org/r/8xuhmcz2n3u/s/41/
- Date: 2021-04-13 · Kind: lesson · Transcript tier: machine · Recording: Monday Nights with Mufti #210 | Q&A Unscripted & Unrestricted! 😉 | Mufti Abu Layth (2:43:47–2:52:58)
- Status: latest answer on its topic; general teaching
- Watch from the start of the segment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XuHMCz2N3U&t=9827s
- Recording page: https://muftiabulayth.org/r/8xuhmcz2n3u/

**Topics:** Intimacy in marriage; Islamic psychology; Sexual ethics

**Summary (not a quotation; machine-made, unchecked):** Mufti Abu Layth says much bitterness comes from unmet sexual needs, that Islam itself does not see sex negatively, and that Freud should be judged on his ideas, not his character.

**Checked position (checked by two independent reviews, not by the channel):** Mufti Abu Layth says unmet sexual needs underlie much unhappiness and bitterness, that Islam does not view sex negatively though institutionalised religion does, and that Freud's insights should be judged on their merits rather than on his character.

**Evidence, his words at 2:46:34:** “i'm not saying islam sees it like this islam does not see sex negatively but institutionalized islam does” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XuHMCz2N3U&t=9994s)

## Longer summary

Prompted by a chat remark, Mufti Abu Layth says much of people's frustration and resentment boils down to primordial needs, especially sexual ones, which he says Freud got right, and that people whose sexual needs are happily met tend to be consistently more positive, stable and peaceable. He says institutionalised religion, drawing on Judaism, Christianity and institutionalised Islam, sees sex as something dirty or merely for procreation, although Islam itself does not see sex negatively. He describes guilt, first relationships that are often awkward, intimacy that dies, and sublimation into work or art, saying therapy would reveal these roots, and that clergy are affected too, as with priests in Christianity and also in Islam. To a comment that Freud and Darwin were perverts, he says the question is whether what they found is true, not their character: Freud brought the unconscious to the world and stressed the impact of the sexual instinct on the psyche.

## Sources and names cited

- Sigmund Freud
- Charles Darwin

## Transcript (machine tier, 2:43:47–2:52:58)

[2:43:24] this is the problem isn't it you know people are very um it's always it's interesting that it boils down on a lot in a lot of matters just down to the very core fundamental primordial instincts like like the sax it does doesn't it it's you know these are the kind of things that freud did kind of get right that he this is why i suppose he became he was the huge genius that he was but people they may not notice it but a lot of life

[2:44:02] a lot of their frustration a lot of their bitter resentment a lot of their things that are manifesting in other things just boil down to these simple um needs that obviously for them are not being met for whatever reason maybe you know whether it's just opportunity or inadequacy or whatever but they and and this causes huge uh kind of disturbances and people sometimes themselves don't understand why these issues why am i always angry why am always bitter why am i always

[2:44:40] uh and it comes down to these issues because there's a restlessness because they you know th they don't have it in life or or the inadequate and the this and this is a problem honestly you would find that if people were let's say they were blissful at their very instinctual need like their sexual instincts were met blissfully let's say you will find those people have a very

[2:45:16] um like a very kind of joyous and happy and positive outlook on life i'm being honest and i don't mean temporarily i don't mean like obviously sometimes things happen in life that may upset people or something's going on and they you know it's kind of made them very concerned but i mean consistently throughout life like i don't mean just this week or this day i mean generally throughout life you'll find these people to be very positive more happy um they usually these kind of people on you know they

[2:45:54] they always more inclined towards peace these kind of people you'll always find them to be more stable and it's weird because you know this because you'd think well hmm you know people won't think of this straight away and this is why i said like freud on some matters he really you know was on the ball because he he kind of he got it right and this is another thing with religion as well you know the capital r because a lot of uh institutionalized religion taking from things like judaism and christianity and even institutionalized

[2:46:34] islam it views sex demonically it sees it as like lust is a dirty thing and therefore it's okay to get it done but it's not something one should be you know like it still sees it as quite um negatively even though it's it says fine and whatever and and i even and i'm not saying islam sees it like this islam does not see sex negatively but institutionalized islam does so even though it allows it

[2:47:12] obviously within it'll say get married and do this but it doesn't really um acknowledge the true need it just sees it as almost uh this is basically procreation or need basis it's like kind of there but that's not really acknowledging it and hence you have these problems because you know people are kind of trapped in these obviously and you know the whole muslim scene when it comes to this one they kill the whole guilt that it can only be within this institution and then that institution it's like a nightmare for many people because it's their first

[2:47:51] ever relationship and you know many of these people are like i don't know like the cousins [Laughter] and and it's just weird as hell and people are unfortunately sexually inept and they don't and then as they as life goes on the sexual the relation the intimacy is dead and then they still have these needs and then you know it's like in psychoanalysis with was mentioning freudian psychoanalysis you have this whole thing of sublimation so people sublimate the kind of energy into other matters so they may move it into a profession they may move it into an

[2:48:30] art they may move it into it but that's how that they vent that thing and and then they it may even get to a stage that they've completely forgotten about this because so many years have gone by that this is just robotic and you know maybe as a one-off otherwise their life they think is fine but if they were to go through therapy and you know to unpack at the unconscious they would realize eventually that okay a lot of these you know these issues i'm having in life like these kind of outbursts and these kind of problems here and this kind of why i'm behaving this way

[2:49:09] or why am i unhappy or discontentful or why do i often you know feel more towards miserable than towards happy they may not know it but if they went through therapy they will realize that actually a lot of it ties down to basic creature and human basic human needs which that they've not you know have not really been able to uh indulge in because of the way the culture the religion and yeah definitely [Laughter] definitely a lot of uh the clergy are affected with a lot of this stuff as well

[2:49:49] like as it is in christianity you know the the the priests horrendous and unfortunately in in many in islam as well right so um i don't think you'll have desires in the after yeah and people think uh both freud and darwin were pervert people just check out their sarks history you see i you see this isn't about whether freud was perverted or not it's about seeing that did what he arrived at

[2:50:27] have any truth to it i'm not you know you don't need to you don't need to become insecure like just because freud may have discovered this or built on this and popularized this now we have to say well oh my god well i'm sure freud was also a freak i'm sure he may have been a freak i mean what's the big deal even if he was a freak i'm not telling you to become a freak i'm telling you that just look at his writings i'm not saying become freud you know i mean this is another very weak reactionary insecure response to say well oh that guy did this you know like i lived 150 years ago you know the world was

[2:51:06] a nightmare 150 years ago so what i would say is that the theories and not all the theories need to be true but i think on some he was like him what he spoke about the unconscious freud really brought that to the world you know today you take it as a given you only really have this understanding of the unconscious because of freud he brought it out you know when he practiced in his early years when he practiced um you know hypnotism and he realized and i'm not saying nobody before him had ever dabbled in the unconscious but he really brought this out and he understood that the unconscious

[2:51:45] is what makes us operate in ways but we don't understand it and he he was on the you know he was on the ball i mean he was dead on point with that and he also re he emphasized the fact that it's what you know from all instinctual needs the sexual instinct is one that perhaps has the most impact on our psyche without us realizing from a unconscious perspective i you know i think he's on the point with that but yeah but he he may be weird in other things like you don't need to dismiss somebody just because they did

[2:52:23] some weird things or whatever all right what's the response to hazali's formulation of cartesian doubt [Laughter] uh in deliverance from error my reason helps me realize my sense uh faculty can be wrong how can i be certain my rational faculty is not wrong yeah i mean this you see imam khazali arrives at this before descartes but imam ghazali fair enough you know 900 years ago what what could you do you know so he eventually just kind of

## Cite

Mufti Abu Layth Archive, segment 8XuHMCz2N3U/s/41. https://muftiabulayth.org/r/8xuhmcz2n3u/s/41/

Not a fatwa: these answers were given to specific people at specific times. Ask a qualified scholar about your own situation.