# Is a relationship between a leader and a follower automatically abuse? *Status does not make a relationship abuse; what real abuse of power is* - URL: https://muftiabulayth.org/r/6_dmojl-_bi/s/8/ - Date: 2017-09-29 · Kind: lesson · Transcript tier: machine · Recording: Propaganda against Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan - Mufti Abu Layth (23:33–26:10) - Status: general teaching - Watch from the start of the segment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_dmOJl-_bI&t=1413s - Recording page: https://muftiabulayth.org/r/6_dmojl-_bi/ **Topics:** Marriage; Women in Islam; Interaction between men and women **Summary (not a quotation; machine-made, unchecked):** A consensual relationship between adults is not abuse just because one has status, and Mufti Abu Layth calls the contrary claim insulting to women. Abuse of power is coercion, such as a boss demanding sexual acts to keep a job; Khadijah's marriage to the Prophet who worked for her is his first counter-example. **Checked position (checked by two independent reviews, not by the channel):** Mufti Abu Layth holds that a consensual relationship between adults is not abuse merely because one party has status, and that abuse of power means coercion such as a boss demanding sexual acts from a worker to keep her job. **Evidence, his words at 23:33:** “this must be deemed abuse no it is not abuse it is not abuse women I'm sorry but I find it insulting” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_dmOJl-_bI&t=1413s) ## Longer summary Mufti Abu Layth says a relationship involving a person of status is not abuse, and that he finds it insulting to women to suggest they become mentally incapable around people of status, since people know very well what they are doing. He draws a clear distinction with abuse of power, which he says is unfortunately common in parts of the third world, giving the example of a boss who calls in a worker and makes her perform sexual acts to keep her job; that, he says, is abuse that must be condemned, and he prays for ease and justice for its victims. Working with someone and flirting or showing mutual interest is a different matter that varies between corporations and countries and is only corporate ethics. Returning to Islam, he begins with the example of Khadijah, for whom the Prophet worked and who proposed to him and married him, a blessed union with nothing wrong in it. ## Sources and names cited - Khadijah ## Transcript (machine tier, 23:33–26:10) [23:25] and this is the most important one that if a person is in a position of a status this must be deemed abuse no it is not abuse it is not abuse women I'm sorry but I find it insulting I find it insulting that these people think that women when they around position people of status they become mentally handicapped that is an insult to women women don't become mentally handicapped when they around people of status that like oh I've got no idea what to do I [24:03] can't oh you're just I'm drugged all of a sudden no they're not you know they know very well people know what they doing there is a clear distinction between abuse of power so for example as it happens unfortunately and may Allah make grant ease and justice to the victims of such abuse as it happened for many parts of the third world unfortunately commonly as and maybe I'm not saying it doesn't happen in the developed world but not as much in the third world people who be like so for [24:42] example a boss has got a worker he will come in call her along make her do sexual acts on him is if she wants to keep her job if she doesn't then you're fired that that is clear abuse that is abuse that needs to be condemned that is abuse saying oh hey I work with somebody and you know you might have flirted or you might have or they've shown an interest in you you've shown an interest in them this varies between corporations varies between countries let's listen [25:20] this is just corporation ethics let's take let's let's go back let's go back to our to Islam let's take a look at our example those of you just tuning in animal silent people if you share the live feed get it out they let other people benefit post any questions you have and I'll get to them right let's go back to our own theme and look at examples we begin with the blessed example of a moment Minnie Khadijah Roddy love on her she she was she I mean the messenger of a lost soul Allah I [25:58] leave Salim worked for her she proposed to him and married him that was a blessed Union one of the most amazing unions in Islam there's nothing wrong with that right you look right through the examples the Companions people say oh somebody was oh my god somebody's looking for for marriage look people naturally it's cool in in in psychology you call this the propinquity effect right so when people are working closely with people they share naturally they end up commonly many people end up in relationships with people they often ## Cite Mufti Abu Layth Archive, segment 6_dmOJl-_bI/s/8. https://muftiabulayth.org/r/6_dmojl-_bi/s/8/ Not a fatwa: these answers were given to specific people at specific times. Ask a qualified scholar about your own situation.