# The reality: the year of sorrow and the proposal to Aisha

- URL: https://muftiabulayth.org/r/0ovisexs4ca/s/6/
- Date: 2017-01-11 · Kind: lesson · Transcript tier: machine · Recording: Age of Aisha (ra)- Mufti Abu Layth (33:58–47:06)
- Status: general teaching
- Watch from the start of the segment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oVIsExS4cA&t=2038s
- Recording page: https://muftiabulayth.org/r/0ovisexs4ca/

**Topics:** The life of the Prophet

**Summary (not a quotation; machine-made, unchecked):** Marriage was proposed to the Prophet in the year of sorrow as support and companionship, which Mufti Abu Layth says makes no sense if Aisha was six. A prior engagement and a fear she would convert her fiance also point to an older girl.

**Checked position (checked by two independent reviews, not by the channel):** Mufti Abu Layth holds that the circumstances of the year of sorrow, in which marriage was proposed to the Prophet as support and companionship, make no sense if Aisha was six at the time.

**Evidence, his words at 44:21:** “now I want us to consider this reality does this make any sense that she was six years old at that time the prophet is going through all this struggle” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oVIsExS4cA&t=2661s)

## Longer summary

Mufti Abu Layth says that rejecting the six-and-nine report does not take anyone out of Islam, then proposes to examine the marriage in three layers: the reality, the reports and the ramifications. For the reality he describes the tenth year after revelation, the year of sorrow, in which the Prophet lost his uncle Abu Talib, his protector in Makkah, and his wife Khadijah, whom he had married at twenty-five and who was the mother of his children and his source of reassurance after the first revelation. He recounts the journey to Ta'if, where the Prophet was stoned and driven out bleeding. He says that at this point a distant paternal aunt proposed marriage to him as support and companionship and suggested two women, a divorcee, Sawdah, and an unmarried girl, Aisha, the daughter of Abu Bakr; Aisha's mother said she had already been asked for by Mut'im [?] for his son, whose family then withdrew for fear she would convert their son, after which Abu Bakr returned to the Prophet and the marriage took place. Mufti argues that marriage was meant to offer companionship, intimacy, emotional support, help at home and help with the mission, none of which a six-year-old could offer, so that proposing a six-year-old would have been counterproductive, and that a prior engagement and a fear of conversion make no sense for a small child.

## Sources and names cited

- the year of sorrow
- the Prophet's journey to Ta'if

## Transcript (machine tier, 33:58–47:06)

[33:27] things how they would log dates years things like that and also what is the perspective and approach towards Hadith okay when it'sah now with that in mind we can now engage the question first of all just to clarify once again to reiterate uh that was not six or nine at the time of her marriage and she was was in her late teens and that's something we'll demonstrate shortly but also as part of the question somebody who rejects that understanding that's in bukari of 6 and

[34:07] N they are of course they are muslim okay and you would not leave Islam by simply questioning the content of certain Hadith okay so just to clarify that question but let's get some detail let's understand how do we know this and I want us to to take this in layers okay so we're going to take a look at three layers we're going to go through the reality the reports and the ramifications okay so these three layers of uh of this this event of the marriage of AA so let's begin with the

[34:46] reality I want us to grasp The Narrative of what was happening at that time so we need to kind of time travel back to the time of the messenger of Allah s alhi wasallam it was what is referred to as theen okay having moved on 10 years since Revelation it is reported by the prophet sallallah alaihi wasallam himself means the year of Sorrow the prophet described it as the most tragic and traumatizing part of his

[35:25] life in in this year the prophet sustained several losses huge immense tragedies for the prophet personal tragedies he lost his uncle Abu Talib who was very dear to the messenger of Allah and he wasn't just dear he was a social support and means of protection and and kind of guardianship for the messenger of Allah he lost his wife Khadijah

[35:59] somebody who the prophet Sall alaihi wasallam had spent who he had married since the age of 25 he' spent considerable years with khad she was the mother of of of all his children she was somebody that was not only a companion but she was a source of personal strength for the messenger of Allah when you see the the kind of description of prophethood when the prophet received prophethood uh and he

[36:39] he he receives Revelation he is traumatized by this event and he goes home and he's very shocked and and and trying to make sense of what's Happening his source of assurance is khad and she is his strength through these very difficult years that he faces she tells him reassures him stands by his side right through this this whole kind of trial of anra at the same time she's supporting uh him whether it's at home whether she she was already uh she had a business

[37:17] and so she had she she was socially very aware very astute and intelligent she was the mother of his children managing his home she was helping him on a personal basis with emotional support with with kind of affirmation to his mission all of these things are taken away from the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam in that year and we have to remember as well that the prophet living in meccah was hated by many of the kind of chiefs of mecah they hated the messenger of Allah

[37:55] they hated him and many of them wanted to afflict him with with harm they wanted to hurt him harm him kill him if possible all these things that this was these were their aspirations a question why did they why couldn't they do that why couldn't they kill the prophet why didn't they why didn't they constantly try to I know there was a an attempt later on but why didn't they try at this point because the prophet had protection from his uncle Abu Talib who was one of the major kind of chiefs if you like of

[38:33] Makkah so this was a whole kind of holistic protection and and and comfort if you like for the messenger of Allah obviously his wife and his uncle both of them within this year are taken away from the prophet sallu alhi wasallam it has a huge devastating impact the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam and then what the Prophet this is followed by the event known as the the the event of T there was a small kind of settlement a town not too far from mekah called T it's still there today I mean much more developed town

[39:13] but the prophet visits thif in the attempt that to gain some kind of external support because the support from Makkah has been taken away from him and he had some distant relation he was related to certain people in so he goes there with Great Hopes and aspirations when he gets there he is received by one of the most shocking kind of uh treatments that the messenger of Allah ever

[39:51] received a very kind of disparaging uh a uh an insulting but also an offensive kind of response from the people of T they attack him not only H abuse they H Stones projectiles harm him beat him chase him out of T the messenger of Allah leaves T he he is certain parts of his blood are certain parts of his body are dripping with blood in some of the reports how his sandals and shoes were stuck to his feet with uh with the amount of

[40:29] of blood blood loss and this just adding an astronomical like kind of psychological mental effect Not only was the prophet already suffering he's now met with this a huge blow you can imagine massively demoralizing it is at this time like in this year you with these things going on and you have to remember the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam by profession would was a Tradesman he has children several children at home who he he takes care of he manages his children making sure they

[41:09] have food taking care making sure their needs are met his work life the mission prophethood all these tragedies all of these things are going on and the prophet is immensely distressed at this time he is a approached by a a distant paternal Aunt as says her name was now this incident is is transmitted in several books ofth it's in the it's in theed other books that H comes to the prophet and says she realizes she's this kind of distant

[41:48] paternal aunt she realizes that look the distress is going through and she asks him look why don't you consider getting married it would be a sense of support for you an emotional support a sense of companionship helping at home with the duties so he asks her who do you have in mind and she says well I can she says well two people come to my mind straight away she says one is a divorce and one is an unmarried woman so unmarried girl and she and he says well who and he and she tells him that well uh

[42:25] s this solda this lady who was uh at that time of a similar age to the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam and she says and there's Aisha the daughter of Abu Bakr so the prophet says why don't you go ask them if they're ready if they will accept this proposal and the interesting thing is that when she she asks uh soda soda was obviously delighted to accept the proposal but she had initially gone to ask AA and AA the reports

[43:04] mention that uh abak at the time when she comes to ask him and tell them that look you know I've got good news that how would you feel about a proposal from the prophet sallallah alaihi wasallam Aisha's mother says that but AA is already asked for by for his son she's already asked for so so she and she says well I don't know because Abu Bakr you know is a man of his word and you know they've had this kind of informal this kind of chat conversation so she then H leaves that situation and she asks soda and soda

[43:42] accepts and hence the prophet sallallah alaihi was marries soda and during that time obak actually goes to ask M and M at that they're very reluctant because they say well and and his wife the mother of juade says well I don't know because you guys have now embraced you guys seem to have embraced this new religion and she says and I fear that she will convert my son now and then based on that they kind of back off and then abak then approaches the prophet in saying well actually you

[44:21] know they're not they're not interested we did have that conversation but I'd love for for for this proposal if it still stands and the messenger of Allah s alaihi wasallam does marry uh AA now I want us to consider this reality does this make any sense that she was six years old at that time the prophet is going through all this struggle and marriage can take place fora suggests marriage which could offer it could offer comp companionship with intimacy it could offer emotional

[45:00] support it could offer uh taking care uh domestic a division of domestic labor so it could help out at home and it could offer a help with your social like as in the prophet's Mission this is what marriage in essence could could offer for the prophet sallallah alaihi wasallam marrying a six yearold would be entirely count counterproductive I mean not only is it nonsensical it would be counterproductive for all of the it wouldn't makes it would offer no I mean there would be no companionship or uh kind of intimate uh Comfort there would

[45:39] be no a six-year-old wouldn't offer any emotional support she wouldn't be able to take care of domestic duties in fact she would if anything be more burdensome you just have to take care of her as well in addition to your children she wouldn't be able to uh speak about the the mission and enhance the mission because she's only six years old and so well some people may say here no well you know but the prophet marries her when she's nine no but H is suggesting her at that stage so why is she suggesting her if she was six if she

[46:16] really wasn't even capable of marriage what is how is she going to alleviate and bring ease to the struggle of the year of Sorrow for the prophet unless she was as we will demonstrate in the other reports will show and we'll take a look at that that she was actually in her late teens at that time so taking all of these things into consideration the just take a look at the

[46:48] reality could this make any sense that the prophet is contemplating to marry a a child could that even make any sense I mean we're not talking we're going we're going to look at the reports in a moment but could this make any sense from that perspective okay also worth mentioning before we move on to the reports is that a had already been asked for so it's it's something to contemplate that if she was six and the reports indicate she'd been asked for it been a few years I mean what was she asked for when she was three or I mean what was the purpose

## Cite

Mufti Abu Layth Archive, segment 0oVIsExS4cA/s/6. https://muftiabulayth.org/r/0ovisexs4ca/s/6/

Not a fatwa: these answers were given to specific people at specific times. Ask a qualified scholar about your own situation.